Comments on: Facebook, slam book

By: Lizzie Fox

Lizzie Fox — Sun, 25 Nov 2012 03:38:23 +0000

I just talked with a friend who’s a mediator about apologies, and she told me that she went to a seminar all about them! And one point was that if an apology comes too soon, the apologizer comes off as not understanding or appreciating the situation.

I’m about to send her a link to this blog. She’ll love it.

By: smc

smc — Sun, 25 Nov 2012 00:09:48 +0000

I would certainly include a link. And I am not offended.

My main point is for those who spread outrage all over the internet, and then whine about how many people were enraged/offended. Many of those people LOVE stirring up outrage. Many of the producers of their outrage are looking for it. For them a photo like this is a gift, not an offense.

Oh well.

By: snarly

snarly — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 18:50:44 +0000

Personally, I agree with the choice to post the photo. We need to see what people are objecting to if we’re to understand the vehemence of the response. I hate when, say, the NYT says a band’s name is “unprintable in a family newspaper” or someone “used an expletive” or “made a rude gesture” — don’t make me take the extra step of googling for a link with less delicate sensibilities! I am an adult and if I’m reading the story I want the actual story, as much as that’s possible.

By: sumac

sumac — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 18:26:03 +0000

I debated whether to include the photo. At first I wasn’t going to. Maybe the fact that there are many edited versions of it online was was swayed me. It’s not easy to figure out what’s going on most of those. Her hand just disappears, or there’s a big X.

I ended up including it because it’s what the story is actually about, and because it contains evidence. On the one hand it shows that the sign includes the words “Arlington National Cemetery.” On the other hand it shows that she’s facing away from the Tomb and is not, as some angry people said, “flipping off the Tomb of the Unknowns.”

Plus, it’s just a finger.

By: smc

smc — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 16:55:36 +0000

What they did was bad, the first apology was bad. But it does come under the heading of free speech. What those soldiers fought for includes freedom and free speech. The freedom to do something really stupid, and to say dumb things.

Veterans, and families of the fallen, etc, have been offended. However, if they were offended by that photo, it is a pretty good bet they only saw it to get offended, because someone, other than the two involved, sent it to them. I’d bet they did not have to individually seek it out. So how did so many people come to be offended by that photo? The biggest apology should come from those who sent the photo to others.

Sorrywatch kinda gets a pass, but only kinda, because it is being used to make a valid point. Better would be if the post was up without the photo, but with a link, then those who wished to be offended would have to do it them to themselves.

The only justification I can see for actually firing these two is that the photo was apparently taken while on a field trip for their employer. Taking a bunch learning disabled people and modeling this behavior – not good.

By: snarly

snarly — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 16:28:25 +0000

I think it would have depended on how much LIFE wanted to defend them…but the first apology ensured that she’d lose her job. I saw the picture and the demand to fire Lindsey Stone in my Facebook feed, and immediately got that she was kidding around in the picture and was mildly sympathetic that she got swept up in Facebook villager torch-waving. But I had not seen the first “apology,” which makes me want to give her the finger and scream at her. (Because of my douchebaggery, no doubt.) The second apology is excellent, and if I were her employer, and I valued her as an employee, I’d be much more apt to dismiss the Facebookers calling for her head if she’d posted THAT right away. But she did herself in with that first “Whoa whoa whoa.”

By: Divinea

Divinea — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 10:22:02 +0000

Well, to their credit, “we’re just douchebags” is accurate and true. I’m not buying the visual pun argument, though, unless they’re eighth graders. The whole roar of indignation leading to their firings is also inappropriate.