Comments on: How to join the bullies

By: snarly

snarly — Fri, 19 Sep 2014 15:38:10 +0000

Very belated comment — I love this post so much. And I THINK the final picture is of Paul Hipp, who played Buddy Holly in the jukebox musical Buddy in the early 90s. I apologize if I’m wrong!

By: sumac

sumac — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 21:22:02 +0000

In reply to Ed Ward. Oh no. Thanks, Ed. That's what I get for relying on random Wikimedia contributors. I will change the caption.

By: David Turoff

David Turoff — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 21:20:58 +0000

In reply to sumac.

It’s not a very subtle or difficult technique. It doesn’t take much to break a nose.

My dad wanted to be sure I didn’t hit him in the *eye*, which would have done *real* damage, or in the forehead, which might have killed him. In my neighborhood, broken noses weren’t that uncommon.

By: sumac

sumac — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 21:15:27 +0000

In reply to tanita. Psychology Today is not what I call a reputable journal, actually. Shaved chimp!

By: sumac

sumac — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 21:13:25 +0000

In reply to David Turoff. It probably does not speak well of me that I immediately want to learn this technique.

By: Ed Ward

Ed Ward — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 19:20:04 +0000

From deep in the heart of Texas comes the absolutely peripheral intelligence that the person shown with the guitar is absolutely not Charles Hardin “Buddy” Holley (career-changing typo on his first record turned him into a plant). Might be Gary Busey, but it ain’t Lubbock’s Finest.

By: tanita

tanita — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 18:53:48 +0000

WHOA, blame the victim. I love how they Kalman's list talks about when to tattle: only for injury or crime, which is specified theft of something valuable -- i.e., your little elementary school crap was only two bucks with your Happy Meal, so that's not enough to tell anyone about, never mind that it was YOUR and you were PLAYING WITH IT and minding your own BUSINESS. This just sounds like lazy adult-ing. Your brother's teasing you? Just ignore him, honey. Jane scribbled on your paper? Don't be a tattle-tale. Now, I saw what he did, but what did YOU do? ALL of that blame-shifting, don't-bother-me-with-it, you need to work it out yourselves crap leaves a kid feeling unsafe, and as neurotic as a shaved chimp, in the long run. Further, it teaches them to pander to bullies their whole lives: keep the strongest ones happy, kids, or else. Now, a smooth rock? We're at least halfway to what kids need...conceptually at least, if not literally. Empowerment. A means of feeling in control and being heard. Not ALLOWING THE BULLIES FREE REIN, duh. This school seems to have seen something in Psychology Today and clipped/pasted without thinking, because it was on the site of a reputable journal. Yes, mistakes WERE made.

By: David Turoff

David Turoff — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 18:03:47 +0000

I was bullied quite a lot as a kid of about 10 because of my father’s politics (he was an ex-communist called to testify by HUAC, and convicted of contempt congress for refusing to testify). His advise to me was not to respond at all to verbal assault but to carry a smooth rock in my pocket and the next time someone laid a hand on me, to break his nose with it. He showed me how. I did this, and got in some trouble for it (less than you might expect), but it worked like a charm; people left me in peace after that.

Sadly, that would probably not work out as well these days ………