I remember a recent study like the one you describe regarding doctors, though not about car accidents. It does seem to me that those are different situations — in a medical situation, I would think suing a doctor would be a choice one would have to make. In a car accident, liability automatically comes into play, and admitting fault means one’s insurance company has to pay up and one’s rates are going to go up. Not saying it’s right (obviously — the point of my personal story was that it’s not what I would do) just saying I would not expect anything to change soon.

An interesting question. Part of the problem in getting to the answer is that experts in many fields (e.g. medicine and the law) have traditionally advised against apologies on the ground that they could be used against you in court. Only recently have there been actual studies showing that apologies are helpful and result in fewer lawsuits, and many experts still stick to the Never Apologize rule.

So if you asked insurance experts, I suspect that many would reflexively say Never Apologize — but that doesn’t mean they’d be right.

Yeah, though pretty much all the advice says not to apologize — this one is exceptional in that it’s not the main point. I don’t know whether apologies get used or not — I’d be interested to know. If it did not, it would be great if insurers would stop telling people not to apologize — it probably would make the accident scene less fraught.

(I hit someone’s parked car recently. I did not take the insurer’s advice and was all I’M SUPER SORRY all over the place (on her car, note left at the building where car was parked, on the phone.) She actually was unbelievably charitable about the accident, and did not want any compensation or to call the police or involve insurers. And it was a nice car! No idea if apology helped or not, but I was just, you know, SUPER SORRY.)

That’s a really good point. I don’t remember my driver’s ed class going into this. Yet it’s very important.

That URL’s useful in many ways, but I don’t like that it says never to admit fault or say you’re sorry. That advice is old-fashioned — in a bad way. I disagree that it’s a mistake to do so. It can defuse the anger of the other person and contribute to an atmosphere of settling things fairly, honestly, and in a non-adversarial manner.

I don’t think the scammers he describes are going to get any traction in court by saying “Of course it’s her fault! She said she was SORRY!”

It seems like it would be a useful thing to know exactly what one’s responsibility is in a situation such as this, and how one should behave. It should be obvious, but it apparently it is not obvious to everyone.

This URL is not bad – I like how the first things are to not panic, pull over safely, and check for injuries, and all the insurance stuff comes after:

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/08/12/heading-out-on-your-own-day-12-what-to-do-if-you-get-in-a-car-accident/

If I had a kid, I’d make them practice this for sure — and make sure they know that leaving the scene is a crime.

I do indeed. I have spent a lot of time riding a bike. I have never been hit, for which I am grateful. But I’ve had many close calls, with drivers who are either inattentive or openly hostile. Ms Way seems to be a bit of both. If she had hit me and then behaved as described above, I would be encouraging the police to pursue all applicable charges.