SorryWatch loves Ichiro Suzuki and even owns a pair of Ichiro socks (thanks, Vard!), so of course we were amazed someone found a mean thing to say when Ichiro got his 3,000th hit in US Major League Baseball. Someone in the sports business. Todd Grisham, now known to SorryWatch as a fool.

Ichiro playing for the Mariners, 2010.

When Ichiro hit number 3k for the Marlins in a game against the Rockies, people were all over social media marveling at his skills. Not Grisham, a sportscaster/reporter for ESPN, who tweeted:

“As impressive as Ichiro’s 3,000 hits are, his unwillingness to learn English after 15 years in America amazes me more.”

A self-described junkie for sports, @iReedifer, helpfully responded: “You’re so fucking stupid. He knows English. He uses a translator so there’s no confusion as to what he says.”

Ichiro sliding, twice as well as your average ballplayer. Must be intimidating for Jedd Gyorko.

Grisham’s cordial reply: “Why would there be confusion if he spoke English, idiot?”

Well. Ichiro has played in the US since 2001. He speaks English in daily life, in the clubhouse, and on the playing field. But not for publication, not for the microphones. When a SportsPressNW reporter told him he spoke passable English, Ichiro said “No, no I don’t.” The reporter pressed the matter, and Ichiro replied, “Hell, no! HELL NO!”

Ichiro out of uniform, 2008.

To the press, he speaks through an interpreter, explaining “…I have to be respectful to our fans. And I have to be consistent with what is said and not have it taken the wrong way because that’’s how I feel. The best way for me to do that is to speak in Japanese.’’”

Also? What if Ichiro didn’t speak English after all these years? It would be odd, it would be sad, but it clearly wouldn’t have kept him from playing stellar baseball, what with all those records, titles and awards. (Trying not to list them – afraid that would be literally too Inside Baseball.)

Ichiro has also learned some Spanish, specializing in trash talk. He told the Wall Street Journal he likes talking to Spanish-speaking immigrant players. “We’re all foreigners in a strange land. We’ve come over here and had to cope with some of the same trials and tribulations. When I throw a little Spanish out at them, they really seem to appreciate it… And besides, we don’t really have curse words in Japanese, so I like the fact that the Western languages allow me to say things that I otherwise can’t.”

Others commented adversely on Grisham’s nasty spoilsport killjoy dampenglee attitude. Grisham tweeted:

And BTW, yes Ichiro apparently speaks “fluent” English as I have been bombarded with. My apologies. Have only seen him w/an interpreter

Bad bad apology. That “fluent” is in quotation marks – on top of the “apparently” – tells us that Grisham doesn’t really believe it. That negates the alleged apologies. And at least one apology should be directed to Ichiro, not the Twitmosphere.

Todd Grisham, stage left.

The complaint of being “bombarded” with corrections is a step away from “oh shut up.”

That Grisham has only seen Ichiro with an interpreter is an explanation. However, it tells us what level of reporting we can expect from Grisham, who didn’t bother to find out about Ichiro’s language skills before shooting out a nasty falsehood.

The rottenness of the apology may have been drawn to Grisham’s attention. The next day he tweeted again:

Clearly, I should have known Ichiro speaks English. It’s something a simple Google search would’ve alerted me to before making a complete fool out of myself in my earlier tweet. The tone I projected made it even worse. My sincerest apologies. I will certainly reflect on my mistakes. Big lesson learned.

Less bad. Halfway decent. He should still address Ichiro directly. He also ought to apologize for his bad “apology” with its insinuations that Ichiro didn’t really speak English.

People happy for Ichiro.

I feel it’s always appropriate to point out that Ichiro’s 3,000 hits (just looked – now 3,002) came after 1,278 hits in Japanese pro ball. He’s an incredible player, and that would be the first thing to mention even if he communicated only in ferocious glares and rabbit imitations.