I, Snarly, was among those who cringed at Macklemore’s post-Grammies text to Kendrick Lamar. (I have not asked Sumac what she thought, in part because she was probably doing noble bird rescuing while I was watching TV like a lox.) Let’s take a look back, then discuss recent updates to the Macklemore apology saga.

Macklemore by Amanda Rhoades, 2013

Recap, for those rescuing birds or lacking interest in now-dated hip-hop fracases (fraci? fracasi? fricassees?): At said Grammies in January, a white rapper named Macklemore defeated a black artist named Kendrick Lamar who is widely considered more talented and groundbreaking. Macklemore then texted Lamar as follows:

He took a picture of the text and posted it to his own Instagram, with the commentary:

My text to Kendrick after the show. He deserved best rap album… I’m honored and completely blown away to win anything much less 4 Grammys. But in that category, he should have won IMO. And that’s taking nothing away from The Heist. Just giving GKMC it’s proper respect.. With that being said, thank you to the fans. You’re the reason we were on that stage tonight. And to play Same Love on that platform was a career highlight. The greatest honor of all. That’s what this is about. Progress and art. Thank you. #grammys

Oy, well, yes. This is icky. It is icky because it has the air of noblesse oblige, even if it is unintended. Winners don’t get to say “Oh, you should totally have won!” without sounding condescending. And taking a picture of yourself depicting yourself being abjectly humble and telling your fans how humble you are doubles down on the icky. It comes off as self-aggrandizement, even if that wasn’t Macklemore’s intent.

There is, of course, a racial component to this mishegas. Macklemore has talked a lot about his whiteness, and how it’s been a blessing and a curse. His intentions are honorable, but he’s still coming from a place of privilege. The only element of his whiteness that is NOT a blessing is that it’s a barrier to acceptance as an “authentic” hip-hop artist. In pretty much every other way it is easier to be a white man than a black man in America. And as Macklemore well knows, he’s piggybacking on a history of white appropriation of black culture and especially black music. Apologies can’t be divorced from their context.

Still, the venomous response to the text felt out of whack. Crossover personage/bar mitzvah bochur/former Degrassi star Drake told Rolling Stone, “That shit was wack as fuck. I was like, ‘You won. Why are you posting your text message? Just chill…if you feel you didn’t deserve it, go get better — make better music. It felt cheap. It didn’t feel genuine.” (Macklemore also defeated Drake, which brings up another problem: When you apologize to Lamar, you inadvertently insult the other losers, who probably also felt they deserved to beat you.) Some black artists defended Macklemore. But by and large, there was utter venom for the guy all over the interwebs. (I’m not linking. You’ve probably seen it. If you haven’t, take my word for it.)

I think a lot of the lashing out among people who are not Drake (many, many of whom were white males) was, ironically, about the posters’ own self-aggrandizement. By slamming Macklemore, they get to look not-racist themselves. Again, this may or may not be conscious strategy. But there are far more deserving targets than Macklemore. The man has at least tried to address his own white privilege — he wrote an ACTUAL SONG about it. He isn’t Vanilla Ice. He’s been a vocal advocate for LGBT rights, unlike a lot of the hip-hop community. He’s dorkily well-intentioned and often witty. (Thrift shop? Funny.) He is body-positive with the ladies. He wears a fuzzy Batman onesie. Better to address your Macklemorian race-based anger at Grammy voters, record labels and radio stations. Better still, vote with your pocketbook, attention, advocacy and ears.

And the point of this post, and the news peg, which I probably should have led with, but oh well, too late now, is that Lamar has TWICE expressed forgiveness of Macklemore. Immediately after the Grammys, he graciously said, “It’s well deserved; he did what he did, man. He went out there and hustled and grinded. Everything happens for a reason; the universe comes back around, that’s how it go.” I would like to think that’s how it go. The Grammies have a long history of rewarding semi-toothless, unchallenging artists; this means they’re surely not the only benchmark of success. Lamar’s first studio album went platinum in only nine months, he cleaned up at BET’s Hip Hop Awards, GQ named him Rapper of the Year and put him on the Men of the Year cover. Don’t cry for Lamar, Argentina. (That musical reference is more my style, btw.) (Or “my jam,” as the youth say.) (My own youth just informed me that the youth do not say this.) Grammies are for the popular table at the cafeteria, and they are awarded by the assistant principal.

And now the point of this post, such as it is: On February 28 (OK, so I’m a little late on the news pegginess, but it’s been in my browser for two weeks! I’ve been WORKING FOR MONEY! Where are my SorryWatch-related Benjamins, I ask you?) Lamar told Billboard, “That text surprised me, but Macklemore is a genuine dude. However it panned out, I wish him much success. He touched people’s souls, and no one can take that away. Really, the whole Grammy moment was incredible. Not everyone gets that shot.”

SO GRACIOUS. Can we not all be as gracious as Kendrick Lamar? Picking one guy as your punching bag and piling on (I just mixed sports metaphors) is tiresome and not very creative. Also a distraction from more meaningful discourse and activism.

But the mockery goes on. Four days ago there was HORROR that Macklemore posted a “distasteful” (I’m sorry, when did Salon turn into Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham?) song and image about toilet-seat etiquette on his Instagram. There were intimations of sexism about the rapper’s sentiment: “TIME THAT US MEN STARTED RESPECTING TO THE BASIN THAT OUR QUEENS SIT ON! LETS RAISE THE NEXT GENERATION TO HAVE BETTER AIM SO WOMEN DONT HAVE TO PEE & POOP ON OUR PEE!” The Salon writer was male, so perhaps he does not appreciate that we women do not, indeed, like to sit on pee. And I can see Macklemore’s battle cry,  MAN UP AND LEARN DONG CONTROL! working in many contexts outside the powder room.

So: Kendrick Lamar accepted Macklemore’s apology. Let’s talk about something else. I can think of a lot more things to get outraged about.