At a high school graduation in Stone Mountain, GA, the principal forgot to call the valedictorian to speak. Belatedly, she tried to get the departing audience to come back. When they continued to file out, she sneered, “Look at who is leaving — all of the black people.” Video of the incident immediately hit YouTube and was picked up by local and then national media.

The principal’s first response, according to station WFAB, CBS46: “I told my husband it didn’t sound like me or feel like me even saying it,” said Nancy Gordeuk, founder and principal of TNT Academy. “I’d like to apologize to everyone who was in the crowd. I’m sorry for what I said. Like I said, the devil was in the house.” (The DEVIL! taking over her LARYNX!) She clarified that the remarks were a reaction to a man causing a disruption in the church where the ceremony was being held, that the video was taken out of context, and that she simply wanted the audience to hear the valedictorian speak. “I’m sorry this is getting all blown out of proportion because just part of the video is being seen and not the whole,” she told the station.

Magna cum laude for Gordeuk, for achieving an almost perfect score on our checklist of the parts of a bad apology! Let’s see: Vagueness about what one is apologizing for, denial of responsibility, taking a swipe at the injured party (the uncivilized people MADE her do it!), being irrational (SATAN), minimizing the offense (ah yes, the ol’ “out of context” response!) and blaming others. She only missed two elements. The first: maximizing the offense in a fake-y, guilt-racked, overblown, melodramatic way that makes it all about the apologizer’s trauma rather than the apologizee’s experience of being insulted. The second: Speaking conditionally (the ever-popular “sorry if“). (Though she gets extra credit for being sorry her words were “blown out of proportion” rather than “uttered.”)

Gordeuk also told an NBC affiliate, “I didn’t know ‘black people’ was a racist term. I didn’t say the N-word or anything like that ’cause that isn’t in my vocabulary. She explained, “People always think the worst, you know. You say the word ‘black,’ you know. Was I supposed to say African-American? Were they all born in Africa? No, they’re Americans.” (Such a diversity-embracing, generous explanation! Mighty white of her.)

But wait! You know how she said the snippet of video was taken out of context? CONTEXT APPEARED. A Facebook user named Brooklyn Jacobs, who was in the audience, posted a longer video showing more of the principal’s outburst. She calls the man in the audience names (including, “goober,” for local color) and acts like a general loonybat. Graduation attendee Maya Price said that the insulting, rude behavior actually started as soon as the ceremony did. She told WAFB:

“She came up to the podium and was like, if your baby’s crying, you need to do one of two things. You need to tape their mouth, or you need to get out because they shouldn’t be here anyway,” said Jacobs.

“I was shocked. And for a second, I thought I was the only one. I’m looking around and everybody’s mouth is open. We’re all looking the same way,” said Price.

In Price’s opinion, people were leaving, not because they were trying to get out early, but because they were offended by other things Gordeuk had said throughout the ceremony.

“That was just something that was unnecessary and uncalled for, because there were more than just black people who were leaving the scene,” said Price.

Gordeuk’s response to the context that her remarks were taken out of? She said that she now understands the gravity of her remarks, and she’s receiving hate mail and death threats. (Can we count this as maximizing? Because though it’s not maximizing the apologetic feelings, it is maximizing the damage done to her rather than those she hurt.) She gave WAFB a longer, written statement:

To address the incident at the graduation ceremony of May 8, please keep the facts in perspective. An unknown man at the beginning of a speech decided to walk up to the front of the audience with his tablet, videotaping the audience and the students causing disruption to the audience and disrespect to the ceremony and its participants. When disregarding the request to sit down, the security was asked to remove the man. At that point, booing of the request commenced. Frustrated with the prospect of ruining the once-in-a-lifetime ceremony the graduates worked so hard for, my emotions got the best of me and that is when I blurted out, “you people are being so rude to not listen to this speech (valedictorian.) It was my fault that we missed the speech in the program. I look to the left where the man was and all I saw was a mass of people leaving and I said, “Look who’s leaving, all the black people.”

“At that point, members of the audience began to leave. The facts are the rude booing from my perspective facing the audience condoning the actions of this man, are coming from the younger people in the audience. What if ten or twenty persons came and started videotaping the audience in the middle of a speech? Is that disrespect to the person trying to make his speech? Or does that mean everyone can just do as they please? I sincerely apologize to all the persons in attendance at the ceremony for the actions of the few causing the disturbance and for my emotional, un-called-for generalization of the black persons in attendance.”

“I deeply apologize for my actions made in the emotional state of trying to let this last student finish his speech. I take a personal interest in the success of every student that comes through our doors without regard to their race, religion, or ethnicity. My main concern for each is to provide them with an education and high school diploma to be able to continue on the pathway toward adulthood to become a successful member of society. You will find many, many parents of all races, religions and ethnic group that have been serviced by our school and are very appreciative of our efforts on the behalf of their students. This same group of students had the same support we have given to every other graduating class. It is very easy to judge someone, however, we all make mistakes, as we are only human. Again, I deeply apologize for my offensive comment in the heat of my emotional state in trying to achieve respect for a student to be able to speak.”

Jeepers, where to begin? Not her fault, provoked by evildoers (videotaping! on a TABLET!), motivated strictly by her desire to let a child speak, swept up in a tide of emotion because of the aforementioned evildoing, only seeking “respect for a student,” not a racist, merely a human — a human who values respect that Black people do not have. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. (That is the correct number of bads. I counted.) She takes no responsibility at all, and in fact, does not even address the actual utterance that she is purportedly apologizing for. But hey, upside, she does seem to treat all races, religions and ethnicities equally. She was telling the truth. TNT parent Cindy Stewart shared with WAFB an email that Gordeuk sent a few months ago:

TNT Academy is NOT a babysitting service for your students. Some parents (mainly the Bosnian community) are dropping off their students and leaving them for my staff to take care of. These students do not do their work, they talk and wander the halls and disturb students who are trying to work. (Elvis, this includes you)!!!!

Because these students are so disrespectful to my staff and to everyone they come in contact with (not all of you), I am going to begin closing for Lunch from 11:30 to 12:30 daily. The teachers need to be able to eat and the disruptive students need to leave the premises. If your student is not picked up by the allotted time of 11:30, I plan to charge you $5.00 every 5 minutes that I have to babysit them.

Again we will begin closing for lunch from 11:30 am to 12:30 pm. If you are not picked up by 11:30 am, I will be charging you babysitting fees of $5.00 per five minute intervals. Due to your disruptive behavior and disrespectfulness – you have brought on this situation.

If you not cooperate, we will call the police.

Thank you.

Nancy

THOSE BOSNIANS, right? Also, nice work, calling out Elvis to the entire school community.

The Georgia Accrediting Commission, which establishes instructional standards for state schools, issued a statement saying that it’s “assessing the situation and conducting an appropriate investigation into alleged violations of its standards.” While Gordeuk waits to hear back from the GAC, she might consider studying up on the parts of a good apology.

[UPDATE: 6/14: Aaaaaaand she’s gone. The school’s Board of Directors fired her.]