CeeLo sincerely apologizes for…wait, what?

Let me 1st praise god for exoneration fairness & freedom! Secondly I sincerely apologize for my comments being taken so far out of context.

— CeeLo Green (@CeeLoGreen) September 1, 2014

Uh, no. Let ME apologize for my comments being taken so far out of context. The comments that I am about to make. The ones saying that you are a horrible human being for and a person who was not, in actual fact, exonerated for rape because you pleaded no contest which is not the same thing as exoneration so again I must point out that you are a terrible person as well as deceptive and opportunistic and vile and I’m so sorry these comments are being taken so far out of context. (See how that works?)

Green’s tweets came after he was sentenced to probation and community service for a 2012 incident in which he gave a woman at a Los Angeles dinner party ecstasy without her consent; she woke up with him and had no memory of what happened. The sentence prompted a flurry of enchanting tweets, later deleted, soon followed by deletion of Green’s entire Twitter account.

Luckily, things live forever on the Interwebs. Thanks to Grumpy & Lumpy for the screen grab:

“If someone is passed out they’re not even WITH you consciously! so WITH Implies consent” — I’m sorry, can someone parse that for me?

Not seen here: Earlier tweet (also deleted) purportedly saying “People who have really been raped REMEMBER!!!” When people are horrified by the things you’ve tweeted, your tweets have not been taken out of context. The context is right out there in the open. What Green apparently meant was “Gee, I’m making this situation worse!” Which is much harder to say than “CONTEXT! CONTEXT THAT DOES NOT EXIST!”

Song title: APT.

Update: STILL NO. According to NME, Green reactivated his Twitter account last night and posted “I truly and deeply apologize for the comments attributed to me on Twitter. Those comments were idiotic, untrue and not what I believe.” CeeLo, if you’re still saying “attributed to me,” you have learned NOTHING about apologies. If you posted it, you said it; there’s no attribution issue here. If someone posted it for you (which let’s be honest, that’s not the case), you say “I hired this person to manage my social media, he or she made a mistake, here’s what I believe, here’s how I’m making it right.” Ownership. Look into it. But go away now.