Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies (Gallery Books, 2023) is also known as Getting to Sorry (the thrilling new title for the paperback! out January 2, 2024!) and is, in the words of our publisher, “a deeply researched, insightful, hilarious exploration of apologies, why they matter, and the healing power of saying you’re sorry.” It’s also a synthesis of everything we’ve learned from working on this site for the last decade. It takes what we’ve explored here and goes deeper, drawing the sustained argument that good apologies literally have the power to change the world.
Sorry, Sorry, Sorry aka Getting to Sorry (whew) delves deep into history and into academic studies of apology in psychology, sociology, law, and medicine. It looks at how gender and race affect both apologies and forgiveness. It discusses how to and how not to teach children to apologize. It examines why corporations, celebrities, law enforcement, and governments seldom apologize well, and how we regular humans can generally do better. It delves into reasons not to apologize and reasons not to forgive. It explores the role of apology in cultural accountability. And most important of all, it talks about why good apologies are so powerful and restorative. (And fret not, it also gives you the Bad Apology Bingo cards and evisceration of vile celebrity, corporate, and political apologies you’ve come to love on SorryWatch.com.)
The book received rave-y blurbs from folks as diverse as psychologist Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. (author of The Dance of Anger and Why Won’t You Apologize), legal scholar Martha Minow (author of When Should Law Forgive and Between Vengeance and Forgiveness: Facing History After Genocide and Mass Violence), journalist Farai Chideya (host of the Our Body Politic podcast and author of The Color of Our Future), futurist Cory Doctorow (author of How to Destroy Surveillance Capitalism), feminist thinker Peggy Orenstein (author of Boys & Sex and Girls & Sex), and parenting expert Michelle Borba, Ed.D. (author of Building Moral Intelligence). You can read their blurbs here.
The reviews are great (we say modestly). Booklist says our work is “fascinating” and concludes, “this book, at its core, could change lives.” People Magazine called it “witty” and “useful.” Kirkus—aka The Mean One—called it “essential protocol for those seeking to hone their apology skills.” Library Journal said it was “useful, helpful, and full of relevant examples.” And Publishers Weekly called it “lucid…an accessible and well-informed resource for navigating difficult conversations.”
Here’s the paperback cover, fyi.
You can buy the book from your favorite independent bookstore, from Bookshop.org, from Barnes & Noble, from Books-a-Million, or from Amazon. Or ask your library to order a copy! We love libraries and the librarians who work there.
And thanks for always tipping us off to great and terrible apologies…and for helping us help others to apologize better.
