If there’s one thing I’ve learned from reading romance, it’s what an earnest and sincere apology looks like. A really moving grovel is a staple of the genre.

This didn’t even come close.

— Olivia Waite (@O_Waite)
https://twitter.com/O_Waite/status/1215326550016417802

January 9, 2020

SorryWatch frequently uses the term “apology-shaped object” for something that has the vague contours of an apology but is not one. Now we have learned a new term for this phenomenon! “Onomatopology,” coined by NPR host and author of Evvie Drake Starts Over(delightful!) Linda Holmes, meaning “a celebrity or politician statement that sounds like an apology and makes noises like an apology but actually is not an apology.”

The web site Smart Bitches, Trashy Books used “onomatopology” (sometimes spelled “onomatapology”— as far as SorryWatch is concerned, both are correct) to describe the statement issued by Romance Writers of America for its recent messy mess.

In short (not very short, sorry), the organization punished Chinese-American author Courtney Milan last month for pointing out racism in another author’s romance novel. Milan had tweeted a bunch of (racist!) quotes from the book; the author of the book said that Milan’s “bullying,” “neo-Nazi”-esque tweets had cost her a 3-book deal. This turned out to be untrue, and the author later said she felt used by RWA.

Cover seems to depict Nice White Lady, but inside? ELDERLY LESBIANS.

However, the toxicity ball was rolling! It could not be stopped! Turns out that a mysterious RWA panel — not the regular ethics committee — had ruled that Milan was deserving of punishment (it was all sort of like Double Secret Probation in Animal House); when RWA members asked for transparency and accountability, the board rescinded the punishment. Meanwhile a bunch of romance authors pointed out that they’d complained to RWA numerous times about racism and homophobia within the organization and in publishing, as well as about a publisher’s failure to pay authors, but nothing was ever done about those complaints…only about the writer of color who’d made white ladies feel bad. A bunch of board members at RWA stepped down in protest; a bunch of publishers pulled out of RWA events; a bunch of RWA members quit. In the end, incoming RWA president Damon Suede (aka Nomad Velour, a coinage by New York Times bestselling writer Tessa Dare), who was apparently masterminding the Milan mishegas, stepped down. You can read more here and here.

Beautiful smart Black woman and redheaded prince fall in love? IMPOSSIBLE.

But back to onomatopology! An excellent word! The announcement from RWA is an onomatopology. It uses the words “painful,” “tumultuous,” and “significant failures…to meaningfully address issues of diversity, equity and inclusion,” and “deficiencies in our communications and transparency,” but does not use the words “sorry” or “apologize,” or even those words’ pallid cousin, “regret.” (RWA has a history of poor apologizing, alas.)

Asian-American leads plus a heroine on the autism spectrum? NO.

Furthermore, the statement is unspecific about the “ethics matter” it alludes to, and it discusses its “moves forward” without grappling with how the organization got to this point. Some of the characters involved with double-secret machinations are staying on to help supervise the “steps to rebuild.” That’s a problem. The steps themselves are good: revamping the awards program (authors of color have won astonishingly few awards), auditing the “recent ethics matter,” and working with a Diversity, Equity and Inclusion specialist…but some of the people involved in the “ethics matter” are also involved in the investigation of it. Who is hiring the DEI consultant? How can the membership be assured of that person’s impartiality? Particularly since all the members of the RWA board who were horrified by the President and Executive Officer’s conduct have already quit?

Two African-American characters and the Underground Railroad? Ew. Don’t you have a book about a hot Nazi?

This story isn’t over. But thanks for teaching us the term “onomatopology,” Linda Holmes and Smart Bitches. That’s something.