A Facebook pal alerted us to customer service expert/social media maven Marc Watson’s blog post today about Australian clothing company Black Milk’s strategic dumbassery. Black Milk makes what might be described as sexy nerdware — skintight dresses and leggings featuring sci-fi and fantasy themes (Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, etc.)

Let’s unpack the image that Black Milk’s social media people published today, shall we? 

Some customers felt that this image was sexist, anti-nerd, anti-non-sex-object-actual-real-woman and mean-spirited. One might also wonder about the use of an image mocking customers for believing that if they shop at Black Milk they’ll look like a smokin’ male-fantasy model instead of the unattractive joke-fodder nebbishes they actually are. I am not a social media expert, but this marketing angle seems illogical. I just raised my eyebrow like Spock.

Women who commented, on Black Milk’s Facebook page, that they were offended (women like Jacqui Collins) were banned. They were banned even when they spoke politely, using REASONS! The more people chimed in, the more they tried to explain why the image was hurtful, the more Black Milk doubled down. In posts filled with smileys, the company employed the classic Bad Apology Bingo strategies of 1) accusing anyone expressing dismay of being humorless and 2) responding that Some of Their Best Friends Are Women (HOT Women Who Were Not Offended). The company banned users and deleted critical comments. When people protested, the company just kept scribbling discussions and comments and informing customers they could feel free to not shop there. But it was cool because they used lots of smiley faces and exclamation points that were not passive-aggressive at all! You can read Black Milk’s posts (thus far!) via screengrab at Watson’s blog. Do. But this one pretty much gives you the vibe:

Oh, Alicia.

This incident isn’t SorryWatch fodder, since if we sat here blogging about every time people didn’t apologize but should, we would never stand up. Unless we had standing desks. But then we would never pee. Unless we had one of those special funnels. Really two of those special funnels, because Team SorryWatch is on two separate coasts.

A lot of times headlines report that someone apologized when, if you actually read the quote or text of the statement in question, you’ll find it’s merely an explanation or an excuse or an expression of regret — not an apology. (An apology uses the words “sorry” or “apology.”) We don’t blog about those stories (though we may give them the Gandolfian stinkeye on FB). But Black Milk isn’t even semi-fakey-contrite. This is SO not an apology. So we won’t be blogging about it on SorryWatch.

Oops.

NEVERTHELESS, my kid can’t have the Black Milk Marauder’s Map Skater Dress she’s had on her wishlist for months. (Not that I’d buy it anyway because $95AU for a simple polyester dress? That’s $88.14 in real money!) Expecto Dickweedum.