At some point on the field trip for learning-disabled adults, one of the escorting staff members took a picture of another staffer acting goofy. The October field trip was to Washington, D.C.; they were at Arlington National Cemetery, by the Tomb of the Unknowns; and the photo was apparently part of a series on the theme of disobeying signs.
The sign reads SILENCE AND RESPECT, and the staffer was making a stagey yelling gesture with one hand by her mouth (to indicate not being silent) and doing a one-finger salute with her other hand (to indicate not being respectful). Two disobediences from just one sign! Boffo.
Later that month, the staffer in the picture, Lindsey Stone, put it on her Facebook page. La la la.
People got angry, because of where it was. The sign says “Arlington National Cemetery” around the rim, clearly visible in the photo. It’s not hard to figure out that it’s the Tomb of the Unknowns – where the bodies of soldiers who couldn’t be identified are buried. That’s why they’re asking for silence and respect, after all. It’s not a place to picnic and holler and throw footballs around. People were angry about disrespect to the dead veterans.
Stone, apparently surprised, apologized. Well, some people called it an apology. No one called it a good apology. She posted, “Whoa whoa whoa… wait. This is just us, being the douchebags that we are, challenging authority in general. Much like the pic posted the night before, of me smoking right next to a no smoking sign. OBVIOUSLY we meant NO disrespect to people that serve or have served our country.”
Bad response. There’s no regret, only justification. The explanation about the previous picture is convincing, but “we’re just douchebags” is not a winning statement when it seems you are proud of being a douchebag and intend to continue the douchebaggery. Capitalizing “obviously” is an unwise move, suggesting as it does that people are TOO DUMB to get it. Finally, she doesn’t acknowledge that they caused offense though they didn’t mean to.
There it sat until November 19, when someone, said to be a veteran, started a page on Facebook called “Fire Lindsey Stone,” calling for a media campaign. “Let her employer know how much of a waste of oxygen this disrespectful person is.” It got thousands of “Like” clicks.
Stone and her co-worker had committed no crime. Freedom of speech may be considered to be among the things the unknowns died for. But an employer at a non-unionized nonprofit very likely had the right to fire them, and this was what the angry people wanted. (The picture was taken down, but I’m not sure when.)
The employer is LIFE, a Cape Cod nonprofit that helps adults with learning disabilities live independently. The next day LIFE issued a statement disavowing the two employees’ actions, and saying they had been put on unpaid leave. “We are acutely aware that this photo has done a disservice to veterans and we are deeply saddened that it was taken and shared in a public medium.”
Stone apologized.
Stone and her co-worker wrote, “We sincerely apologize for all the pain we have caused by posting the picture we took in Washington DC on Facebook. While posted on a public forum, the picture was intended only for our own amusement. We never meant any disrespect to any of the people nationwide who have served this country and defended our freedom so valiantly. It was meant merely as a visual pun, intending to depict the exact opposite of what the sign said, and had absolutely nothing to do with the location it was taken or the people represented there. We never meant to cause any harm or disrespect to anyone, particularly our men and women in uniform. We realize it was in incredibly poor taste, and are deeply sorry for the offense we have caused.
“We also sincerely apologize to LIFE, Inc. It is an amazing organization that provides invaluable services to adults with learning and developmental disabilities. We are beyond remorseful that our actions have caused them such undue public scrutiny. The disrespect implied by our picture has nothing at all to do with LIFE’s mission statement or values. We regret having caused any suffering to the staff members, residents, families and friends.
“Again, we very sincerely apologize to everyone who took offense to the photo. We realize that it was an ignorant and distasteful thing for us to do, but we truly meant no harm. We are deeply sorry.”
Much better. It includes the explanation of why they acted that way, but no longer defends it as witty douchebaggitude. It acknowledges the feelings of others, including those at LIFE, and apologizes for causing pain. It shows understanding of the situation.
They were fired the next day.
Probably at that point, no apology could have been good enough to save their jobs. Few small nonprofits will stand up against thousands of enraged people accusing them of trampling publicly on the fallen dead and those who remember them.
But what the hell kind of idiot lynch mob behavior is this? When was Facebook allowed to become a slam book? Now I want to say “Whoa whoa whoa.” A couple of dummies took a stupid picture and one posted it publicly without realizing how obnoxious it was. When people got upset, she didn’t grasp why, and made things worse with her explanation.
Not only have the two lost their jobs, but it may be hard for them to find new jobs in the same or related industries. That’s severe punishment for obnoxiousness.
Here’s what I wonder – could a good apology right away have saved the situation? It wouldn’t have appeased everyone, but it might have let their employer save face without firing them.
Well, to their credit, “we’re just douchebags” is accurate and true. I’m not buying the visual pun argument, though, unless they’re eighth graders. The whole roar of indignation leading to their firings is also inappropriate.
I think it would have depended on how much LIFE wanted to defend them…but the first apology ensured that she’d lose her job. I saw the picture and the demand to fire Lindsey Stone in my Facebook feed, and immediately got that she was kidding around in the picture and was mildly sympathetic that she got swept up in Facebook villager torch-waving. But I had not seen the first “apology,” which makes me want to give her the finger and scream at her. (Because of my douchebaggery, no doubt.) The second apology is excellent, and if I were her employer, and I valued her as an employee, I’d be much more apt to dismiss the Facebookers calling for her head if she’d posted THAT right away. But she did herself in with that first “Whoa whoa whoa.”
What they did was bad, the first apology was bad. But it does come under the heading of free speech. What those soldiers fought for includes freedom and free speech. The freedom to do something really stupid, and to say dumb things.
Veterans, and families of the fallen, etc, have been offended. However, if they were offended by that photo, it is a pretty good bet they only saw it to get offended, because someone, other than the two involved, sent it to them. I’d bet they did not have to individually seek it out. So how did so many people come to be offended by that photo? The biggest apology should come from those who sent the photo to others.
Sorrywatch kinda gets a pass, but only kinda, because it is being used to make a valid point. Better would be if the post was up without the photo, but with a link, then those who wished to be offended would have to do it them to themselves.
The only justification I can see for actually firing these two is that the photo was apparently taken while on a field trip for their employer. Taking a bunch learning disabled people and modeling this behavior – not good.
I debated whether to include the photo. At first I wasn’t going to. Maybe the fact that there are many edited versions of it online was was swayed me. It’s not easy to figure out what’s going on most of those. Her hand just disappears, or there’s a big X.
I ended up including it because it’s what the story is actually about, and because it contains evidence. On the one hand it shows that the sign includes the words “Arlington National Cemetery.” On the other hand it shows that she’s facing away from the Tomb and is not, as some angry people said, “flipping off the Tomb of the Unknowns.”
Plus, it’s just a finger.
Personally, I agree with the choice to post the photo. We need to see what people are objecting to if we’re to understand the vehemence of the response. I hate when, say, the NYT says a band’s name is “unprintable in a family newspaper” or someone “used an expletive” or “made a rude gesture” — don’t make me take the extra step of googling for a link with less delicate sensibilities! I am an adult and if I’m reading the story I want the actual story, as much as that’s possible.
I would certainly include a link. And I am not offended.
My main point is for those who spread outrage all over the internet, and then whine about how many people were enraged/offended. Many of those people LOVE stirring up outrage. Many of the producers of their outrage are looking for it. For them a photo like this is a gift, not an offense.
Oh well.
I just talked with a friend who’s a mediator about apologies, and she told me that she went to a seminar all about them! And one point was that if an apology comes too soon, the apologizer comes off as not understanding or appreciating the situation.
I’m about to send her a link to this blog. She’ll love it.