The Washington Post wrote “McCarrick expressed an apology to the alleged victim Wednesday, though he says he is innocent.”

That cassock’s so baggy. It doesn’t do you justice.

The person they’re talking about is Cardinal Theodore McCarrick. Who told some seminary students to call him “Uncle Ted”. Removed from the ministry June 21st due to charges of sexual misconduct the church found credible. The only U.S cardinal to be accused of sexual assault – against adults and against a teenager.

The charges concerning the teenager are what brought this matter to a point where it couldn’t be ignored. They are about events that began in 1971, when a 16-year-old was picked to be an altar server at a Christmas service. McCarrick, then a mere monsignor, is alleged to have measured the boy for a cassock. Then he put his hands in the kid’s pants. When the boy drew back, McCarrick said “Let’s just not tell anybody about this.”

A year later, Christmas service again, hands in underwear again. The kid pushed McCarrick off. The kid changed his mind about becoming a priest, for some reason.

The erstwhile teen didn’t tell anyone about this until, in 2016, the archdiocese created an Independent Reconciliation and Mediation Program. When he came forward, the review board found the charges credible.

Now I think it’s too tight. Does it grab you right here?

We don’t know if they took into account other cases against McCarrick, involving adults, two of which led to settlements. According to Julia Duin, formerly religion editor at the Washington Times, “Allegations about the cardinal have been floating about the Internet, and in religion-news circles, for way more than a decade regarding much heavier stuff than a 47-year old incident.” (Duin’s mad her editors wouldn’t let her chase the story.) She gives links with details. We’ll just say that seminary students said they dreaded invitations to “Uncle Ted’s beach house. They would hurry to claim a bed, because “the odd one out would have to share a bed with the archbishop.” Who did not stay on his side of the bed. Yeah, there were settlements.

At the time McCarrick was kicked out he was 87 and retired, but active in the church, traveling around the world to confer on nuclear disarmament, religious freedom, and social justice issues. He was popular and respected, and before retirement, he helped develop… the church’s standards for handling sexual abuse by clergy.

So is this like Cardinal Fox straightening out problems at the henhouse?*

What about that apology the Washington Post says he “expressed”? They’re talking about the passage in this statement where the word “sorry” appears:

Some months ago, I was advised by the Archbishop of New York, Cardinal Timothy Dolan, that an allegation of sexual abuse of a teenager from almost fifty-years ago had been made against me. At that time I was a priest of the Archdiocese of New York.

While shocked by the report, and while maintaining my innocence, I considered it essential that the charges be reported to the police, thoroughly investigated by an independent agency, and given to the Review Board of the Archdiocese of New York. I fully cooperated in the process.

My sadness was deepened when I was informed that the allegations had been determined credible and substantiated.

In obedience, I accept the decision of The Holy See, that I no longer exercise any public ministry….

While I have absolutely no recollection of this reported abuse, and believe in my innocence, I am sorry for the pain the person who brought the charges has gone through, as well as for the scandal such charges cause our people.

That is not an apology, Washington Post. He says he doesn’t remember any such thing, and believes “in my innocence” – that no such thing happened. He doesn’t say he is sorry for anything he did, he says he is SORRY FOR the pain of the person making the charges. That pitiful anguished liar. Also for “our people.” Notice there’s no reference to the other cases, including those which led to settlements. Maybe instead of saying he “expressed an apology to the alleged victim,” you could say he “used the word sorry in a meaningless, free-floating way.”

Why don’t you just take that silly cassock off and let me have a look?

“Sorry for” is a frequent dodge of people trying to avoid responsibility. I’m sorry for your pain, I’m sorry for the way you feel, I’m sorry for you that you can’t see the humor in this, I’m sorry for your inability to recognize my transcendent innocence, oh how I pity the fool.

It’s not an apology. Since the Post isn’t as focused on apology analysis as we are, they don’t necessarily have to break it down, but we think saying it’s an apology is inaccurate reporting.

UPDATE: On February 16, 2019, the Pope announced that McCarrick had been defrocked.

(*After I, Sumac, had asked the question “So, is this like Cardinal Fox straightening out problems at the henhouse?” I heard Harry Shearer on the brilliant Le Show ask the question “Fox, henhouse, anyone?” in a segment about Cardinal McCarrick on “News of the Godly.” Shoot. Shearer did the same joke, much shorter. What to do? Learn, I guess. Or just update it, yeah. Forget the henhouse. It’s like putting Scott Pruitt in charge of the EPA.)