Jennifer Lopez is a hard-working entertainer, doing shows all over the world. On June 29th, she did one at the behest of the China National Petroleum Corporation, who must be huge fans. They paid her seven figures to perform in Avaza, a resort in southern Turkmenistan, for their top employees in Turkmenistan, to celebrate the 56th birthday of Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov, that sorrowful nation’s unscrupulous president.

Screen grab: J-Lo singing 'Happy Birthday' in Avaza.

Screen grab: J-Lo singing ‘Happy Birthday’ in Avaza.

Lopez bounded onstage, hollered “Turkmenistan!” and went into her show. Her choreographer, JR Taylor, surprised by Twitter silence, tweeted, “I wonder where all my Turkmenistan followers are!? Hit me up!” In response to a last-minute request, after the regular dancing and singing, Lopez slipped into Turkmen togs and sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to Berdimuhamedov, who has banned access to social media like Twitter. And Facebook. And probably SorryWatch.

Lopez didn’t try to pronounce his name, just sang “Happy birthday, Mr. President!”

Still, it’s all fun and games until the Human Rights Foundation (HRF – not invited to the party) hears about it, right?

HRF was disgusted. Thor Halvorssen, HRF ‘s president, snarled, “Lopez obviously has the right to earn a living performing for the dictator of her choice and his circle of cronies, but her actions utterly destroy the carefully-crafted message she has cultivated with her prior involvement with Amnesty International’s programs in Mexico aimed at curbing violence against women. What is the next stop on her tour, Syria? The dictator of Kazakhstan’s birthday is July 6, maybe she will also pay him a visit?”

Photo: Presidential Press and Information Office, www.kremlin.ru.

Russian Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev (left) has just sung. Kazakh President Nursultan Nazarbayev (right) is beginning a hula. Because it’s Turkmen President Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov’s birthday!

Lots of people hastily looked up Berdymukhamedov – or said ‘Forget it,’ and looked up Turkmenistan. Human Rights Watch (HRW) recently called it one of the most repressive regimes in the world. Jailing of dissidents. Restrictions on speech and association. Travel bans. State control of all media and the single ISP. Torture. Forced labor (including child labor) in the lucrative cotton harvest. Bans on, let’s see, opposing the regime, and homosexuality. Exclusion of human-rights NGOS like the Red Cross (and HRW).

Lithograph: John H. Sherwin. Public domain.

Trained hippo. (Scenario: hold Turkmenistan’s first hippo race; let Berdymukhamedov make surprise appearance on favored hippo; give trained hippo secret signal to make dash for idling semi; hold Pres. B. hostage; force him to issue orders making T’stan genuine democracy; let him see what it’s like actually to be beloved of your people. Key: get bitter old hippo trainer to help in return for getting out of prison.)

Berdymukhamedov, in charge of all this since 2006, seems to be one of those tyrants who wants to be beloved for charismatic exploits. He recently made a surprise appearance in a horse race, which his horse was apparently allowed to win (other riders holding their horses back). Then his horse stumbled and he fell off. He had previously been a surprise entry in Turkmenistan’s first automobile race, which he also “won.”

People said it was a shame for Lopez to perform at a fete for Berdymukhamedov’s birthday and sing to him. Even for seven figures.

A statement came out from Lopez. An apology? The Washington Post said she apologized. The L.A. Times said she apologized. Salon said she apologized – or at least that her publicist did.

Here’s the statement.

Jennifer Lopez and several other artists were invited and performed at a private corporate event for the China National Petroleum Corporation that was presented to their local executives in Turkmenistan.

This was not a government sponsored event or political in nature. The event was vetted by her representatives, had there been knowledge of human right issues of any kind, Jennifer would not have attended.

The China National Petroleum Corporation made a last minute ‘birthday greeting’ request prior to Jennifer taking the stage. This was not stipulated in her contract but she graciously obliged the China National Petroleum Corporation request.

Does that look like an apology to you? I said, DOES THAT LOOK LIKE AN APOLOGY TO YOU? Because it doesn’t look like an apology to me. It looks like an ignorant diaper-assed excuse. An excuse putting the blame on “her representatives.” And it wasn’t just her, “several other artists” did it too! It’s all China National Petroleum’s fault!

Nothing about being sorry, regrets, apologies, making sure not to do it again, or donating her fee to organizations that might help Turkmens.

The statement looks as if Lopez told her staff, “You got me into this, now talk our way out.”

The reps seem to have done a lousy job, but should they get all the blame? Lopez hired them, and Lopez presumably instructs them as to how to vet her gigs.

In 2012, Lopez did a phone-in with fans prior to performances in Russia. Asked about Pussy Riot, the Russian feminist punk band whose members were jailed and charged with “hooliganism,” Lopez said “I don’t like to talk about politics, to be quite honest.” Or think about it, I guess.

Photo: stevebott. Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. http://www.flickr.com/photos/stevebott/3221968902/

Observe those rocks that she’s got.

I’m reminded of Lopez’s hit rap song, “Jenny from the Block,” which she co-wrote (with 8 others). She sings, “I’m down to earth like this/Rockin this business/I’ve grown up so much/I’m in control and loving it.” If she’s in control, she can control where she sells her services and to whom.

“Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got/I’m still, I’m still Jenny from the block/Used to have a little, now I have a lot.” But not enough?

“Nothin’ phony, don’t hate on me/What you get is what you see.” I guess I hoped for more.

“It take hard work to cash checks,” Lopez sings. She does work very hard. She seems to have put on a great show in Turkmenistan. But not all hard work is good work.

Anyway, good news to readers with poor self-images: it doesn’t matter what you’ve done. It doesn’t matter what you’ve failed to do. It doesn’t matter how hellish you’ve made the lives of others. Quit beating yourself up! J-Lo will be delighted to perform for your event, if you can make the fee. Though if you want her to sing ‘Happy birthday,” maybe stipulate the pronunciation of your name.

 

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