At the wheel, nervous passenger in front seat. (Okay, my mother, in town for the day.) One of those times when bad drivers burst out of every alley. (“Oh no, I’m late for my frenzy!”)
A different taxi, a different gesture. It wasn’t like this.
On the freeway, a taxi suddenly darted into our lane, apparently not seeing us. Dangerously close. I braked. Nervous passenger gasped.
It also wasn’t like this. (Drawing by Rubén Hernández Herrera.)
I changed lanes. As I passed the taxi, the driver turned. He met my eyes. He raised his hand.
So did I.
His glance and raised hand said, “I made a mistake – I’m sorry.”
Mine said “Thanks – that’s okay.”
It was good. In this year, in the place I live, most drivers who make mistakes don’t do that. They avoid eye contact, and they certainly don’t make a gesture of apology.
This doesn’t really capture it either.
To make a gesture like this driver’s indicates that we’re all in this together. We make mistakes, but we do our best.
It patches a frayed spot in our social world.
Most people don’t have his grace, and that’s why I’m often grumpy as I drive. My passengers can attest that I motor and sneer. “What a SHAME that NICE EXPENSIVE CAR didn’t come with TURN SIGNALS.”
“They’re called ‘LANES’ – actually a Very. Clever. Invention. – LOOK INTO IT.”
“You poor thing, you must be in a hurry to get to the MUFFLER SHOP.”
“You’re the man, Jones, who said car pooling wouldn’t work.” It wasn’t like this AT ALL.
The taxi driver’s behavior cheered me up, and we were at our destination before I could start muttering again. “Yes, yes, driving is BORING, so why not focus on OTHER THINGS?”
“That’s right! Don’t let anyone know if you’re going to turn! It’s an important secret! You need your privacy!”
“Uh huh. Uh huh. Oh baby, THAT’S why your insurance rates are so high.”
Yes, these little patches on the rough seams of our world do help so much don’t they? It’s like I can forgive the world, if someone just says they’re sorry. Which is — well. Which tells us the importance of a real apology, a real “Oops, my bad — it was me.”
(Also, clearly, you and I need to never drive in the same car. The snark would be overwhelming. “No, no, please, don’t let ME distract you from your texting!” “Sure, you’re a bicycle. Stop lights are for vehicles with three wheels or more, not you AT ALL!” I mutter crap like that all day. Which is why I usually avoid driving when I can…)
We should travel together in the new SNARK-POWERED CAR.
Nice. And, fabulous illustrations this time.
I love those cartoons.
Made me happier just reading it…
Love this little cool thing. I feel the same way about the simple lifted hand when driving, which might mean ‘oops sorry’ or might mean ‘hey thanks for letting me in’ but basically means ‘I acknowledge that you’re a human being,’ which feels like a huge thing on the road.
So what was the gesture the driver made that said, “I made a mistake – I’m sorry”? I’ve been looking for such a gesture for some time.
I know! It would be great if there were a specific gesture. I looked up how you say “sorry” in ASL, but it’s a gesture done on the chest, so I don’t think it would adapt well to driving situations.
http://lifeprint.com/asl101/pages-signs/s/sorry.htm
All he did was raise one hand (the other on the wheel, of course). Flat hand, fingers pointed up, palm out. It would be enigmatic if not for the eye contact. That’s what made it work.
Maybe that flat hand palm out followed by pointing at yourself?
Ah, that sounds like a nice touch.
People have different gesture languages — someone else might do the smiting-their-forehead motion. Or beating their chest with one closed hand.