A gentleman posted humorously upon the Facebook page of Bodyform, a UK concern that manufactures feminine hygiene products.

As a child I watched your advertisements with interest as to how at this wonderful time of the month that the female gets to enjoy so many things ,I felt a little jealous. I mean bike riding , rollercoasters, dancing, parachuting, why couldn’t I get to enjoy this time of joy and ‘blue water’ and wings !! Dam my penis!! Then I got a girlfriend, was so happy and couldn’t wait for this joyous adventurous time of the month to happen …..you lied !! There was no joy , no extreme sports , no blue water spilling over wings and no rocking soundtrack oh no no no. Instead I had to fight against every male urge I had to resist screaming wooaaahhhhh bodddyyyyyyfooorrrmmm bodyformed for youuuuuuu as my lady changed from the loving , gentle, normal skin coloured lady to the little girl from the exorcist…

I apologize for not copy-editing that, unless you think that by apologizing I’m being condescending to someone who is surely using run-on sentences and unorthodox punctuation in a calculated-for-effect manner,  in which case, I apologize for apologizing. (Note: Two-faced bases-covering apologies are bad.) Where was I? Ah, yes. In case you were wondering, the “wooaaahhhhh bodddyyyyyyfooorrrmmm bodyformed for youuuuuuu” line refers to the company’s catchy jingle.

Mere days later, Bodyform responded. And SUCH A RESPONSE. 

Let’s compare this use of social media to that of KitchenAid or that sexist NYT writer dude we failed to blog about (oops). Joking about dead grandmothers and/or female writers who are obviously SO UGLY they WISH they’d be sexually harrassed (and then responding to criticism with accusations of Stalinism and “apologies if you missed that” I was totes JK!) = UNFUNNY. Jokes that make us feel we’re all in this together, jokes that feel inclusive rather than bullying, jokes that tell us “hey, you’re clever enough to be aware of the inherent doofiness of marketing, and so are we” = FUNNY.  This makes me want to buy these people’s tampons, but darn it all, I am in the U.S. of A. and must make do with humorless tampons.

Extra points for the blue liquid. Extra extra points to whoever wrote the phrase, “the blood coursing from our uteri like a crimson landslide.”

This fake apology has WINGS!