According to the charming web site The Irish Aesthete, this framed item hangs in a bathroom at Birr Castle, County Offaly. As a lowly American Jewess not of the peerage, I don’t know whether the contrite Earl of Rosse is the current Earl (the 7th, for those keeping track), who was born in 1936 and is the half-brother of the 1st Earl of Snowden, who used to be married to Princess Margaret, or the previous Earl of Rosse (1906-1979), who was once the Chancellor of the University of Dublin. I am clueless as to which Earl was the greater party animal with such a profound need to apologize for “excessive screaming” and “indiscreet petting” that he had to make stationery.

I am désolée to have to point out that even if one is an Earl this is a shitty apology. (GASP. OFF WITH HER HEAD.) I do not approve of pre-made check-here and fill-in-the-blank thank-you cards for seven-year-olds, so I certainly do not approve of shortcut apology cards for grownups. If one actually owes someone an apology, one should call or (better) write a real and heartfelt note. I understand that this card is humorous in intent (I can’t imagine that even the most fun-loving lordling was guilty of “riding to hounds in drawing room” so frequently that he couldn’t even fathom writing out the entire phrase). But if the hyperbole was perhaps a way of laughing off a tendency to imbibe too much and behave poorly, this is a problem. People who are annoying drunks at parties should curtail or get help for their drinking. It’s tacky, and when the host can’t even berate the drunkard because he’s a friggin’ Earl, and the host has to keep inviting him to parties no matter what, even if he barfs all over the Aubusson, it’s tiresome.

 

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