The Events
The First Baptist Church of Crystal Springs, Mississippi, refused to let a black couple marry in their church.
The wedding had been scheduled for July 21, 2012. There was a rehearsal. Then pastor Reverend Stan Weatherford, a family friend of the bride’s, told Te’Andrea Henderson and Charles Wilson that some congregants objected, and the wedding would have to move to another church. It did, and Weatherford officiated.
This caused comment. National comment. National angry comment. Oh dear.
The town of Crystal Springs held a racial unity rally July 30. There was public prayer for racial reconciliation.
The Apology
On Sunday August 5, the church posted an apology on its website. It’s gracefully worded, and says they seek “forgiveness and reconciliation” with the Wilsons, their families and friends, and with God. It was a “wrong decision.” It said “Both the pastor and those involved in the wedding location being changed have expressed their regrets and sorrow for their actions.”
But Charles Wilson told reporters the church had not apologized to him or his wife. He said one or two church members had spoken to him personally in the last few weeks, but no one representing the church. “I can’t believe they think they’ve apologized,” Wilson said. “You put a thing in the media and say you’ve apologized? It is an insult.”
No one at the church returned the AP reporter’s calls before press time the next day. Oh dear, oh dear.
SorryWatch Analysis
The church blew it. It’s not just that they put two events in the wrong order. An apology is a communication between two parties, not something one party does in isolation.
I have composed a lot of apologies and delivered them in the privacy of my mind. (Never mind what for.) They don’t count. I have mentioned things I did that I was sorry for – but unless I mentioned my remorse to the people I injured, it doesn’t count. Even if I put it on this website – really sorry, Hans! – it doesn’t count.
You dance with the one who brung you, and you apologize to the one you tromped on.
Also
First Baptist is a Southern Baptist church. Why are there Southern Baptist churches anyway? Didn’t they form in 1845 because the other Baptists were anti-slavery? But haven’t they changed, and officially opposed racism – as a sin – for ages? Since 1995, anyway? Shouldn’t they be dancing extra nicely around racial matters? Who is Sumac, a non-religious person, to say how religious people should act? But does religion have anything to do with whether an apology is a good apology? Are these rhetorical questions? Was I frothing at the mouth just then?
- The Fifteenth Amendment, by Thomas Kelly. “Liberty Protects the Marriage Altar.”
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