This apology came from Freethought Today, newspaper of the Freedom From Religion Foundation. FFRF’s legal team writes a lot of letters to city governments, schools, senior centers, and other organizations, reminding them about laws that govern the separation of church and state.

You can’t force the football team to pray to Jesus. You can’t refuse to let atheists give invocations at the Town Board meeting. You can’t make the old people hold hands and pray before meals. If the students have to watch an anti-bullying video, you need to get one that doesn’t promote the Mormon church. No, the mayor can’t throw people out of a public meeting if they don’t stand up for a prayer.

We can’t do that?

Egad.

People don’t like getting these letters. Usually they comply, but often with bad grace. Sometimes they grandstand a little first. Often they’re angry. They’re just trying to do good things and a bunch of atheists from Madison, Wisconsin, say it’s against the law?!?!?

One small thing FFRF has dealt with in the past is the occasional business practice of charging lower prices for religious customers. For example, a movie theater might charge you less for a Sunday matinee if you show a church bulletin you were given that morning.

But you don’t get to do that, Mr. & Ms. Impresario. That’s discrimination on the grounds of religious creed. Maybe it feels to you as if you’re simply being nice to nice people, but notice that you’re not being nice to others.

That brings us to the tale of Mary’s Gourmet Diner, aka Breakfast, of Course, in Winston-Salem, NC. It sounds like a great place. They proudly quote the newspaper which said “A Bohemian cool atmosphere serving vegan/organic/locally sourced cuisine. Located in Winston-Salem’s Arts District. Owner Mary Haglund loves and follows the Alice Waters-esque philosophy.”

It even has an Art-o-mat!

It also had a policy of giving a 15% discount to people who pray openly before their meals.

The discount wasn’t advertised, but was offered at the discretion of the servers. Recently they gave the discount to a customer who showed off the receipt – with a “15%Praying in Public” discount marked – to her pals at a Christian radio station. They put a photo of it on Facebook, asking “How cool is that?”

Attention was paid. “Customers… are getting a nice surprise” reported the local Fox affiliate.

Lots of praise and exaltation, lots of dispraise and criticism. FFRF wrote to Mary’s, mentioning the Civil Rights Act. As a place of public accommodation, Mary’s doesn’t get to discriminate against non-praying types.

Mary Haglund told the media that she didn’t see it that way. “This is not a religion thing, it’s a thankful thing.”

The policy has been discontinued, and this sign went up in the front of the restaurant:

We at Mary’s value the support of ALL our fellow Americans. While you may exercise your right of religious freedom at this restaurant by praying over your meal to any entity or non-entity, we must protect your freedom from religion in a public place. We are no longer issuing the 15% praying in public discount. It is illegal and we are being threatened by lawsuit. We apologize to our community for ANY offense this discount has incurred.

Let’s go over it.

“We at Mary’s value the support of ALL our fellow Americans.” That seems to mean: We love everybody, not just religious people.  That’s good.

“While you may exercise your right of religious freedom at this restaurant…” means don’t worry, you can still pray here. (I have never heard of a restaurant that didn’t allow people to pray before their meal. I think that would be… illegal.)

“…praying… to any entity or non-entity…” means – what? Praying to a non-entity? Who does that? Possibly this refers to the idea, which Haglund explained to a reporter, that meditation or a moment of silence also merited the discount. I don’t think it’s snarky, just oddly phrased.

“…we must protect your freedom from religion in a public place” means they actually read the letter from FFRF.

“We are no longer issuing the 15% praying in public discount. It is illegal and we are being threatened by lawsuit” means they’re not giving the discount any more. I think it also means they feel oppressed. They said we can’t do it just because it’s illegal even though we’re really nice! THEY ARE SO MEAN.

Finally, the apology. “We apologize to our community for ANY offense this discount has incurred.” I’m not happy with this. The “ANY offense” clause suggests that maybe there was no offense. Maybe everybody was happy until the FFRF started meddling. Blah blah blah Civil Rights Act blah blah blah discrimination blah blah blah what EVer.

It does not take responsibility. It says the discount is illegal. It doesn’t say it is unfair.

So it’s not a great apology. Yet I’m totally going to Mary’s next time I’m in the area. It sounds great. It’s not clear to me whether I should start with the Apple Butter Baby or the Cornmeal Cakes. Maybe I’ll just go nuts and get Gashouse Eggs, even though they seem to think it’s called Eggs in a Nest.

I will bask in the knowledge that I am welcome to pray visibly before consuming my Cheapskate Plate, though I won’t get a discount for it. To pray to anyone or no one.

Which is reminiscent of the boarding school scene in Terry Pratchett‘s Pyramids, in which small curly-headed Arthur, away from home the first time, is bullied by an older student when he tries to say his evening prayers in the dormitory.

Specifically, the bully taunts Arthur, and throws a pillow at him just as Arthur is about to sacrifice a goat within a double chalk circle to honor Great Orm.

Arthur bursts into tears, because now the chalk’s all scuffed, and he fears Great Orm “will come in the night and wind my entrails out on a stick!”

Don’t worry – another student comforts Arthur, and the bully is overpowered and forced to say “There’s nothing wrong with a chap being man enough to say his prayers in front of other chaps.”

And so say all of us!