It’s possible to be harmed by peanuts even if you don’t have a peanut allergy. In 2009 a widespread salmonella outbreak was traced back to the Peanut Corporation of America (PCA). Hundreds of people got sick when they ate tainted peanut butter or products made from tainted peanuts or peanut butter. Nine people died.

Probably a lot more people got sick without the cause being figured out. Most cases of salmonella aren’t reported. Peanut meal and paste are used in a lot of products where their presence might not be suspected. The infection spread as far as Happy Tails Multi-Flavor Dog Biscuits. Lots of sick dogs and sick people never hit the radar.

There was a huge recall – thousands of products. PCA declared bankruptcy. There was a congressional hearing at which PCA owner/president/CEO Stewart Parnell appeared, but refused to speak, citing the advice of legal counsel.

There were investigations by the FDA, the FBI, and the states of Georgia, Texas, and Virginia. Parnell, his brother Michael Parnell, PCA’s Blakely plant quality control manager Mary Wilkerson, and a former PCA processing plant manager Samuel Lightsey were all indicted.

They were charged with defrauding corporations which bought their peanut products and turned them into such things as peanut-butter crackers and dog biscuits. At trial, evidence showed that Parnell was far more interested in making money than in running a clean peanut operation. The PCA plant in Blakely was infested with pests and had a leaky roof. Some batches of peanut product were never tested for salmonella but were shipped with fake records saying they were uncontaminated. Others were tested and came back positive, but were shipped anyway. (Unsurprisingly, PCA paid only minimum wage and did not like to waste money on repairing things.)

At the end of the trial, victims and survivors were given the usual chance to speak. “My mother surely beat cancer and died from eating peanut butter,” said Jeff Almer. “You took my mom, you kicked her right off the cliff.”

Jacob Hurley, now 10, had been violently sick for 2 weeks when he was 3. He’d eaten peanut butter crackers. Hurley testified that it would be fine with him if Parnell spent the rest of his life in jail.

Parnell, probably taking a different view, apologized. He hadn’t done this before, keeping silence. It’s possible – in fact likely – that his lawyers had instructed him not to say anything, including apologies. Even though that was probably bad advice. “Too little, too late,” said a man whose grandmother died. (Peanut butter crackers.)

I find slightly different versions of Parnell’s apology. The Guardian has him saying “It’s just been a seven-year nightmare for me and my family. All I can do is come before you and ask for forgiveness from you and the people back here. I’m truly sorry for what happened.”

This uses the always-fatal ‘the one who’s really suffered is ME’ argument. Didn’t work for former BP president ‘I’d like my life back’ Tony Hayward, didn’t work for Parnell. And when he says “for what happened,” he’s avoiding saying what he did.

WALB-TV has Parnell complaining of a “several-year nightmare,” and adds that he said, “To the victims, I apologize tremendously.”

Several sources say Parnell began by saying “First, I want to apologize to all of our consumers.” Consumers. Who identifies as a consumer? I’ll argue that with “consumers” Parnell puts distance between himself and those who got sick or had relatives die. Maybe a tiny bit of blame. ‘We just sold it, they consumed it.’ (And Food Safety News snorts, “it’s very unlikely that he will ever sell another peanut again.” How cruel.)

Michael Parnell said, “To the families of the victims, I apologize tremendously. I am truly sorry for you guys’ problems.” He asked for a lenient sentence, saying “I beg you to be as merciful as possible.”

Why does “you guys’ problems” rub me the wrong way? Let me point out , Mr. Michael Parnell, that the fact that you are pleading for leniency suggests that it’s YOUR PROBLEM TOO.

Also requesting leniency was the Parnell boys’ mother, Zelda Parnell. She told the judge the lads had “suffered for years.” She said, “They lost their income, all their material things and worst of all, their pride.”

Not sure that was helpful. Though it could have been worse. According to Food Safety News, which I am sure has followed the trial with close attention, a Parnell sister, Beth Falwell, was ejected from the courtroom. Apparently she had been making “obscene gestures to the outbreak victims.”

(This brings up the whole issue of family members who wish to show support, and may opt to do so in ill-advised ways, and who will never apologize even if their over-the-top behavior causes the judge to have you tased and shackled when all you did was call out, “Dad, cool it, please!” Maybe that hasn’t happened to all of us – yet – but we can all imagine it, right? My point? That part was not Stuart Parnell’s fault.)

Anyway, the judge wasn’t so lenient. Parnell got 28 years. Michael Parnell got 20. Wilkerson got 5. (Lightsey earlier took a deal and testified at the trial.)

Peanuts are amusing and other people’s rambunctious family members are funny. But food safety regulation is serious business. We have that particular kind of red tape – and prosecutions for dodging it – for a reason. It saves lives, and oh yes incidentally, it builds trust in the food supply. (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, CHINA.)