One of the perils of being a Jew in America is being constantly, painfully attuned to our place in the international consciousness. Any news or pop cultural event is run through the filter of “Is it good for the Jews?” And being a Jew in America means fretting about Israel. Some of us are rabidly hawkish; some of us are naively left-ish, some of us are somewhere in the middle, and some of us put our fingers in our ears and sing LALALALALALA whenever Israel is in the news, but anyone with a brain cell knows that the way Israel behaves and the way Israel is portrayed (not the same thing) affect how we Jews are perceived in the world.
SO: I am acutely aware that the only post we’ve done about Israel was negative. Furthermore, many of the readers of my column in a certain Jewish publication think I am a liberal clueless spineless dickweed who hates Israel. So in an atypically sardonicism-free way, I want to say that I do not hate Israel; I believe in Israel’s right to exist; I do not think enough attention is paid to other people’s stated intentions to push Israel into the sea or blow it off the map; I wish more people were attuned to the huge diversity of political opinion within Israel and the amount of innovation and creativity that thrives in Israel; and now I am going to write another post that is negative about Israel. #sorrynotsorry.
Yesterday a new video appeared on Youtube. Here’s the Hebrew you have to know to understand it: “Slikha” means “excuse me” and “ani mitnatzel” means “I apologize.” Now, look at this fucking hipster, in his stupid beard and stupid plaid and stupid jewelry, hipstering around the hipster liberal nabe of Rothschild Boulevard in Tel Aviv. He even has a pug, for God’s sake.
At the end, he de-Clark-Kents, and the wuss is suddenly transformed into Naftali Bennett, leader of Israel’s right-wing Habayit Hayhudi (Jewish Home) party! He goes from apologizing hither and yon for things that are obviously not his fault to firmly saying, “Starting today, we stop apologizing. Join HaBayit Hayehudi.” I think we all know who Bennett doesn’t want living in his house.
But let’s leave the political analysis to others. We’re here to talk apologies. As my employer Tablet points out, “While in the United States these apologies might be seen as just being overly polite, in Israel it is the clear mark of a spineless lefty.” (Saying “excuse me” is frowned upon, too. Here is a famous joke.) Bennett’s character is seen reading Israel’s liberal newspaper, Haaretz, its headline (a reprint of a NYT editorial) calling for Israel to apologize for its role in the 2011 flotilla incident.
Look, for an Israeli right-wing politician to mock the people of Tel Aviv is as safe and reliable as a Midwest Republican mocking Hollywood or San Francisco or Manhattan. With Israel headed into a wide-open election, it’s an easy way to look tough. And right-wingers aren’t generally as successful with the comedy japery as lefties, so bravo to Bennett. But is it really necessary to equate apologizing with spinelessness? As we keep pointing out here at SorryWatch, it takes a lot of bravery to apologize and apologize well! Sure, a reflexive “sorry” when you bump into someone may not mean much — it’s only a tiny bit of civility in a brutish world — but a thoughtful, elaborate, personalized, artisanal, hand-crafted “I’m sorry” is rare and exquisite and praiseworthy.
Take it from someone who has tried to board a bus in Israel: A little more “I’m sorry” and “excuse me” wouldn’t go awry, no matter what your politics.
1.) MAN, Tel Aviv in those shots is pleasant looking. It’s like a clean downtown Sacramento with Hebrew-language speakers. And random brides wandering past.
2.) It always intrigues me how apologies and “sorries” are seen in other cultures. This apology business is largely viewed similarly in Glasgow; you don’t really excuse yourself or apologize for bumping people in the mall, or crossing people’s line-of-sight where they’re obsessing over the types of noodles in the grocery; you don’t apologize on the bus when you have to step over someone to get to the aisle. I mean, I do (or did, anyway), and people look at me and raise a brow and know I’m not from around there – or else ignore me utterly. Or, if they are acquaintances, they say, “What?” And then I have to recreate and annoyingly and pointlessly explain the whole thing. I’ve heard it’s the same for much of Britain (although Wales may be the exception).
For a long time I wondered if this just wasn’t an urban thing, in that city people just have to learn to render each other invisible because they’re used to a population density which requires this, and Glasgow is indeed a mighty (filthy and charming) city – but now I wonder. Americans are often seen as grinning fools abroad – how awful to imagine that even our apologies put us in the role of “damn fool hipster.” Le sigh.