We have a real (crap) Kanye apology and a fake Kanye apology song!

Kanye apologized for dissing Beck (and also Bruno Mars) in a manner as minimalist as a $120 plain white t-shirt. At the Grammys last month, it seemed for a moment we’d get a replay of the “Imma let you finish” incident of a few years ago, but with Beck playing the blond Kanye-Seal-of-Disapproval-for-not-being-Beyonce-award-winner role made famous by Taylor Swift.

no can haz.

This time, rather than grabbing the microphone and informing Beck that he was a Beyonce-denying undeserving fraud, he stormed the stage, then turned around and left. Anticlimactic, but momentarily exciting! Kanye belatedly followed up a few days ago with two tweets.

(Unclear what precisely the Bruno apology was for, but West then tweeted a request for Bruno to sing the hook on a song West was producing. Maybe this was just a pre-apology for inevitable future slights.)

Beck was gracious even before receiving the twitpology. (He’s is so going to kick that e-meter’s ass at his next audit!) “I was just so excited he was coming up,” Beck told Us Weekly at a Grammy afterparty. “He deserves to be on stage as much as anybody. How many great records has he put out in the last five years right?” Even though West said that Beyonce should have won? “Absolutely,” Beck said. “I thought she was going to win. Come on, she’s Beyonce!”

(West was correct — if woefully ungracious — and Beyonce should have won. But this is the Grammys, Jake.)

As for Kanye’s tweet: Not much of an apology. Terse. Should have said what he did wrong. Shown that he knew the impact (stealing the spotlight, publicly peeing on Beck’s victory, conveying that Beyonce needed his imprimatur and his rescuing). Should have felt genuinely contrite rather than weirdly begrudging. Not self-effacing. As comedian Louis Virtel put it, “he’s the celebrity for you if your problem with James Franco is ‘Not Proud Enough of Himself.'”

Fortunately, we have Jay Pharaoh’s impersonation of Kanye on Saturday Night Live to provide a wordier and more extensive (if no more competent) apology.