Noodging someone to apologize often fails. The noodgee can feel defensive and resentful; the noodger finds she can’t get no satisfaction. But here is a case where public shaming quickly made the offender do the right thing, and everyone lived happily ever after (HEA, in romance-novel-ese).

Photographer Anne Almasy had reached the point in her career where she was ready to advertise. She submitted an ad to Weddings Unveiled magazine. The photo she selected showed two brides kissing.

According to her blog, a Weddings Unveiled editor called a few hours after receiving the image, on Valentine’s Day, and asked, “Is there possibly another photograph you’d like to use in use in your ad? We just don’t feel comfortable publishing an ad featuring a same-sex couple. These aren’t our personal beliefs, of course, but, you know…”

Almasy said that no, there wasn’t another photograph she wanted to use. “A little part of my heart broke,” she wrote on her blog. The editor called again, after conferring with her team, and reiterated the magazine’s position. “I’m not saying we won’t ever publish a same-sex wedding,” she concluded. “It just isn’t the right time.” Almasy responded with an open letter to the magazine on her blog:

As I write this, I’m shaking.

A friend of mine asked me, “Aren’t there other publications who would be happy to advertise to the gay community?” And, you know, yes, I’m quite sure there are. But I chose Weddings Unveiled because I’m not trying to advertise to “the gay community.” I’m advertising to couples who are getting married. This couple didn’t get “gay married.” They didn’t have a “gay wedding.” They got married. They had a wedding.

She continued:

I don’t shoot gay weddings or straight weddings, Christian weddings or Jewish weddings, good weddings or bad weddings. I photograph PEOPLE on their wedding day.

And concluded:

My heart breaks because you could not see beyond your fear, and into the warmer, brighter future that WE are responsible for building.

Someone has to be first.

Someone has to forge ahead.

Someone has to march.

Someone has to refuse to move to the back of the bus.

Someone has to see these two beautiful, brilliant women in love and know that there is nothing more right int he world than this couple.

Three days later, the publishers of Weddings Unveiled printed an apology on their blog.

We hope that you will allow us the opportunity to address an important issue that has angered and disappointed many people. We are incredibly sad that same sex marriage is still an issue in our society. When we were faced with the decision of whether or not to publish Anne Almasy’s advertisement, we acted in a manner that does not reflect our personal beliefs. We truly believe that all love is beautiful and that all people have the right to marry. You might ask that if we feel that way, then why did we make this decision? Honestly, we knew that everyone would not share our belief that all people have the right to marry. The issue is very sensitive and it is also very divided. We knew that it was possible that people would be offended if we published the ad and we knew that it was possible that people would be offended if we did not. We are so sorry that we acted out of fear and uncertainty. We had never been faced with such a decision and we should have acted with our hearts.

We are two women who operate a small business that we care deeply about. We love all weddings. We love all people and would never want to anger, offend or disappoint anyone. We are deeply moved by the outpouring of love and support for Anne. We are so sorry that we have disappointed you and we ask for your forgiveness. If Anne would still like to run her ad in Weddings Unveiled, then we would be proud to publish it.

Sincerely,

Terri and Brooke

We commend the reversal and the honesty. There was no tortured attempt to excuse the behavior: They did what they did because they were afraid of possible backlash. That said,  writing, “We…would never want to anger, offend or disappoint anyone,” is disingenuous; they chose to anger, offend and disappoint Almasy, LGBT couples and those who support them. However, when confronted, they reconsidered their position, apologized, accepted what is probably a very real risk, and they reversed their decision not to take the ad. That’s a positive outcome. Ideally, Terri and Brooke would have assumed the expense of running the ad themselves as a conciliatory gesture, but given the conservatism (hi, lesbian-loathing Oregon cake-baker dude!) of many corners of the wedding biz, it’s vital for vendors (hi, Ace of Cakes dude Duff Goldman!) who work primarily with straight clients to make the decision Terri and Brooke ultimately did.

So step up, wedding-ring-vendors, stationers and tacky ribboned cake-knife-sellers!  Rice makers, too! Don’t worry; that whole thing about rice making birds explode is a myth. Whether the birds are gay or straight.