In many families or classrooms, kids are taught the difference between an “outside voice” and an “inside voice.” Inside voice is quieter.

Then there’s an “inside-the-head voice.” That’s the voice for things that no one else needs to hear. Things like “he’s fat,” “what an ugly baby,” and “images of women make me think about sex acts.”

Excuse me, we paid for that couch. With our taxes. Is there anyone in this picture who doesn’t pay taxes?

Representative Cedric Richmond (D-LA) should have used an inside-the-head voice recently when addressing the Washington Press Club Foundation at their annual dinner. Referring to a widely-seen photo of presidential counselor/campaign manager/lie-seller Kellyanne Conway perched on a couch in the Oval Office, Richmond said, “I want to know what’s going on there. I will not tell anybody. You can just explain to me that circumstance because you look kind of familiar in that position there. Don’t answer and I don’t want you to refer back … to the 90s.”

Don’t know what he was thinking here. Don’t want to know.

What? Yeah, a Monica Lewinsky reference. Sexist, leering, and meaningless. (Did he think it was okay because he didn’t use dirty words? No no.) People objected. Chelsea Clinton, for example, not known to be best buds with Conway, tweeted, “Despicable. I hope @KellyannePolls receives the apology she deserves—certainly never thought I’d write that & I mean every word.” Conway tweeted back thanks.

Richmond apologized.

After a discussion with people I know and trust I understand the way my remarks have been received by many. I have consistently been a champion for women and women’s issues, and because of that the last thing I would want to ever do is utter words that would hurt or demean them. I apologize to Kellyanne Conway and everyone who has found my comments to be offensive.

We don’t think so. FAIL. This is extremely evasive. He frames the problem not as his remarks, but as “the way my remarks have been received.” Not that he said anything offensive, hell no, but some people “found [his] comments to be offensive.

That remark wasn’t the crowd-pleaser he thought it was.

Apparently the responsibility lies with those who received his remarks wrongly and those who found them offensive. Not him.

He includes a dose of that’s-not-who-I-am, some-of-my-best-friends-are-womenfolk, do-I-even-have-to-say – which does not help. If you’re going to try that, what you SAY is “I have consistently been a champion for women and women’s issues, SO I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.”

This is a minor sideshow, though some on the right claimed liberals “freaked out.”

Naah. The picture (by Brendan Smialowski), has been widely promulgated because it’s shorthand for “that jerk Kellyanne – thinks she’s all that,” not because most people care much about the sofa. A certain grade of Conway defenders have responded with pictures of the demon Obama putting his feet up on White House furniture. We’re confident the furniture will survive both sets of feet.

You cannot TELL that this is Conway putting out the disturbing notion of “alternative facts.” One reason it’s not as popular an image as the couch one.

But there’s so much seriously bad stuff Richmond could have criticized Conway for without showing us the salacious workings of his mind. Like her consistent delivery of false, misleading, and “alternative” “facts.” Or her constant defense of corrupt and evil policies.

And if he was really troubled about the nice furniture, or if the Foundation dinner requires wisecracks, he could’ve taken a leaf from Luvvie Ajayi, whose “Kellyanne Conway Gotta Get Her Feet Off That Couch” makes such trenchant points as “I bet that couch now smells like onion rings” and “This woman ain’t got no home training. Not a piece of broughtupsy to be found…. Someone’s grandma is throwing their shoe at Kellyanne’s head as we speak. She’s the reason for plastic over furniture.” Highly recommended!

(Hat tip & thanks to Rachel C, who first pointed this out to us on Twitter.)