You would think Nutella would be happy to make news for something not involving having to settle a false-advertising-claims lawsuit or protest that its really-bad-for-you ingredient isn’t so bad for you so it shouldn’t be taxed by the venomous French. Stai zitto, idiota!

Last week, Nutella’s parent company Ferrero sent a scary cease-and-desist letter to Rosso, who announced on May 16th that she was going to have to take down her NutellaDay.com web site and attendant social media and cancel the big gooey party.

There was a big hue and cry and much gobsmackage about Nutellan idiocy from experts in advertising and social media. The site Social Times, for instance, headlined its story “Nutella Exemplifies How Not To Use Social Media” and illustrated it with this picture.

Yesterday, Nutella backtracked. On Rosso’s site and on Nutella’s Facebook page appeared an identical statement:

WORLD NUTELLA DAY: A POSITIVE CONCLUSION

Positive direct contact between Ferrero and Sara Rosso, owner of the non-official Nutella fan page World Nutella Day, has brought an end to the case.
Ferrero would like to express to Sara Rosso its sincere gratitude for her passion for Nutella, gratitude which is extended to all fans of the World Nutella Day.
The case arose from a routine brand defense procedure that was activated as a result of some misuse of the Nutella brand on the fan page.
Ferrero is pleased to announce that today, after contacting Sara Rosso and finding together the appropriate solutions, it immediately stopped the previous action.
Ferrero considers itself fortunate to have such devoted and loyal fans of its Nutella spread, like Sara Rosso.

Read it in the voice of Mr. Spock. It totally sounds right.

The media reported that Nutella had apologized; the big palm oil party could go on and everybody could celebrate until their arteries exploded like festive balloons. Except…Nutella did not apologize. In English and in Italian, there is no “sorry” or “regret” expressed for scaring the bejeebers out of a true fan. The phrase “a routine brand defense procedure that was activated” not only uses the passive voice we at SorryWatch deplore, but also sounds as though there were no humans involved at all! It was merely a procedure! That was activated! There’s even a weird whiff of attempted soothingness in the phrase “routine brand defense,” a sort of “at least the trains run on time” detachment, as if we should be at least a little grateful for Nutella’s efforts to keep itself Nutella-y. (Also, “some misuse of the Nutella brand on the fan page” certainly seems to say that Rosso bears responsibility for what happened to her, much like the Soviet Union deserved to be invaded in 1941.

Rosso is being very gracious, given the lack of public apology or giant PR-op delivery of a lifetime supply of sugary brown goop. But Nutella clearly doesn’t play that way.

Not Nutella. Michigan Mud. Another missed promotional opportunity.