So journeyman NBA’er Jason Collins came out as a big gay homosexual in Sports Illustrated, in a beautifully written piece apparently crafted with Franz Lidz. (For some reason, Susan and I both like to give co-writers some credit.)

Most of the response to Collins’s announcement was supportive. (There’s a lovely collection of rock-on-with-your-bad-self tweets from other athletes and celebrities at Mother Jones.) Not everyone was so accepting, of course.

Chris Broussard, an ESPN commentator, responded in the show On the Issues:

Personally, I don’t believe that you can live an openly homosexual lifestyle or an openly premarital sex between heterosexuals, if you’re openly living that type of lifestyle, then the Bible says you know them by their fruits, it says that’s a sin. If you’re openly living in unrepentant sin, whatever it may be, not just homosexuality, adultery, fornication, premarital sex between heterosexuals, whatever it may be, I believe that’s walking in open rebellion to God and to Jesus Christ. I would not characterize that person as a Christian because I do not think the Bible would characterize them as a Christian.

As we have discussed here before, the just-as-vehement Biblical proclamations against crawfish, wool-linen-blend suits, tattoos and squeezing cream from the flesh twinkie rarely get as much play with the guardians of collective moral virtue. It’s odd. It’s also important to note that there are religious Christians who disagree with Broussard’s view.

The sports site Deadspin (which is rapidly becoming a must-read for me, even though I am not very sporty, just as io9 has become a must-read for me even though I am not very sci-fi-fantasy-y, and what is UP with Gawker Media’s reliable ability to deliver the awesome with these two sites? It’s kinda shaking my worldview) dissects the Jane-You-Ignorant-Slut ickiness of the On The Issues setup, with Broussard representing ANTI and gay sports columnist LZ Gunderson speaking up for PRO. As Deadspin‘s John Koblin put it, “It’s a debate. Is gayness an abomination unto the Lord? We’ll hear from our NBA reporter after the break!” The problem, Koblin says: “ESPN had reduced the story to depressingly modular dimensions—a piece of sellable controversy lying equidistant between two competing claims…The worst, most cynical thing about ESPN’s ‘Embrace Debate’ era is the animating idea that all the great issues of the day are merely debate-club propositions. Every question has two sides, and truth (and maybe a good Nielsen rating) is the product of the competition between them.”

ESPN sorta apologized: “We regret that a respectful discussion of personal viewpoints became a distraction from today’s news. ESPN is fully committed to diversity and welcomes Jason Collins’ announcement.” As Koblin pointed out, though, that’s not an apology for the larger problem (endemic to the media at large, not just ESPN) of false balance, of equating two unequal things. Creationism and evolution are not actually legitimate and equivalent positions deserving the same weight in the classroom or in stories about education. A story about a person coming out does not need the “balance” of someone saying “and that makes Jesus cry.” ESPN could ponder apologizing for the structure of the show itself.

In other AAACK TEH GAY apology news, another pro athlete whose name I did not know before this week, Mike Wallace 0f the Miami Dolphins, tweeted “All these beautiful women in the world and guys wanna mess with other guys.”

He then semi-apologized: “Never said anything was right or wrong I just said I don’t understand!! Deeply sorry for anyone that I offended.” (Sorry “for”? That’s a new one! Unconscious slip or deliberate slap?)

The Dolphins immediately issued a statement:

Mike Wallace has apologized for his comments, and we have addressed the matter with him. Mike’s comments do not reflect the views of the Miami Dolphins. We believe in a culture of inclusiveness and respect, and any statements to the contrary are in no way acceptable to our organization. We will address the entire team about our policy of inclusion and make sure they all understand the importance of respecting individual choices.

Pretty good! (Though some would quibble with the word “choice” when applied to LGBT issues.)

Media critic Howard Kurtz also triggered an apology for his Collins coverage in The Daily Beast. He’d offered up a strange GOTCHA announcement that Collins had “left out” the fact that he’d dated a woman for eight years and been engaged to her, an omission that indicated that Collins had “not told the whole story and I think this really muddies the whole plotline.” Except buh? Because a) the suffering caused by remaining closeted and dishonest to self and others pretty much is the plotline, and b) Collins DID say, in his SI piece, that he’d dated women and been engaged. Kurtz changed the piece to say that Collins “downplayed” rather than “omitted” this vital info, but The Daily Beast took the liberty of retracting Kurtz’s post and apologizing for “any implication that Collins tried to hide or obscure the engagement.”

(See what I did there?)

Finally, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports that adorable LeRoy Butler (father of the Lambeau Leap, and I’m aware that my own bias is showing here) was disinvited from speaking to a church after he tweeted his support for Collins. The church, which Butler declined to name, told Butler he’d be allowed to speak if he “removed the tweet, apologized and asked for God’s forgiveness.” When Butler protested that he had a contract, a church official replied, “check the moral clause.” After tweeting about the entire incident, Butler said he’d received an apology from the church, “but mainly thanking me for not releasing the church name.” Charmant.

My longtime literary crush Sherman Alexie has a funny essay in The Stranger about why some athletically inclined straight mens, who love to extol the “cut, shredded, and jacked” bodies of athletes, are uncomfortable with Collins coming out. Men objectify other men all the time, but are “supposed to think of the most physically gifted men as warrior soldiers, as dangerous demigods,” with a tacit agreement that it’s not, y’know, GAY to find other men beautiful.

When we’re talking about professional athletes, we are mostly talking about males passionately admiring the physical attributes and abilities of other males. It might not be homosexual, but it certainly is homoerotic.

So when Jason Collins, an NBA basketball player, announced this week that he was gay and became the first active athlete in the four major professional American sports leagues to come out of the closet, I was proud of him. And I was aroused, politically speaking.

He’s the Jackie Robinson of homosexual basketball big men.

Indeed. Also, I would like Mr Alexie to be aware that I thought he was hot in the early 90s when he was young and thin, and I think he’s hot now with more meat and years on him. CALL ME, SHERM.

Regardless of what happens to Collins in the future — he’s older, and his playing career may be over — let it be known that Susan lives in SF and I live in NYC, so we are supportive of all man-on-man butt-patting. Thank you.