Last night during the Oscars, the Onion tweeted something putrid.

“Everyone else seems afraid to say it, but that Quvenzhané Wallis is kind of a cunt, right?”

Number of words: 17

Level of horridness on scale of 1-10: 9 (sadly, I have a vivid imagination and can think of worse comments a sexist, racist, pedophiliac talentless hack could make about a 9-year-old African-American girl)

Level of funniness of tweet on scale of 1-10: 0

Level of Facebook/Twitter outrage: Defcon 1

Number of hours between tweet and apology: 16

Number of words in apology: 273.

Feb. 25, 2013

Dear Readers,

On behalf of The Onion, I offer my personal apology to Quvenzhané Wallis and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for the tweet that was circulated last night during the Oscars. It was crude and offensive—not to mention inconsistent with The Onion’s commitment to parody and satire, however biting.

No person should be subjected to such a senseless, humorless comment masquerading as satire.

The tweet was taken down within an hour of publication. We have instituted new and tighter Twitter procedures to ensure that this kind of mistake does not occur again.

In addition, we are taking immediate steps to discipline those individuals responsible.

Miss Wallis, you are young and talented and deserve better. All of us at The Onion are deeply sorry.

Sincerely,

Steve Hannah
CEO
The Onion