No doubt you saw the rage attack by Frederick County (MD) City Councilman Kirby Delauter on Saturday, after a local newspaper writer mentioned him (and the fact that he did not respond to a request for comment) in a story. A story about parking. “Use my name again unauthorized and you’ll be paying for an Attorney,” he wrote to her on Facebook. “Your rights stop where mine start.”

Kirby Cucumber (photo by Wikipedia)

The newspaper, The Frederick News-Post, responded on Sunday with an epic editorial, headlined “Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter.” It repeated Delauter’s name 30 times, unless I counted wrong, not including the mangled versions like “Shirley Delaughter” (“and don’t call me Shirley”) and “Sherbert Deluder,” or the nicknames like “K-Del” and “He Who Shall Not Be Named,” or the anagrams like “Rebuked Artily” and “Brutelike Yard,” or the fact that the entire editorial was an acrostic, the first letter in each paragraph spelling out “Kirby Delauter.” Never pick a fight with anyone who buys ink by the barrel (or knows the definition of The Streisand Effect). The editorial went on to point out, more seriously, that Delauter didn’t have a legal leg to stand on, and that a free press is essential to democracy (a fact we understand all too well in the wake of the Charlie Hebdo massacre). The paper pointed out that Delauter has called people “moron” and “punk” (punk! so old-school!) in the past, and suggested that he actually follow his campaign slogan, “Govern like a taxpayer.” The paper suggested, “Maybe he should apply that to his temper first.” Read the whole thing, as it is a snarktacious masterpiece.

Last night, Delauter issued an “apology.”

The first amendment is alive and well in Frederick County. As a public figure working to maintain and improve the county, it can be very frustrating to feel misrepresented or misinterpreted by a local media outlet.

Over my career I have fired off my fair share of angry e-mails, which in hindsight I wish I hadn’t.  I can’t think of one that had a positive effect.  Usually, they only served to escalate the conflict.  I thought I had long ago learned the lesson of waiting 24 hours before I hit the send key, but apparently I didn’t learn that lesson as well as I should have.

Of course, as I am an elected official, the Frederick News-Post has the right to use my name in any article related to the running of the county — that comes with the job.  So yes, my statement to the Frederick News-Post regarding the use of my name was wrong and inappropriate. I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong.

I got elected to serve all the citizens of northern Frederick County, Democrats as well as Republicans.  I look forward to the local papers covering my effort in that regard.

Oh, K-Del, no. First graf: Continues to blame the paper. Second graf: Golly, I have a manly temper. Third graf: FINE YOU MAY USE MY NAME BECAUSE THAT COMES WITH THIS HEROIC JOB THAT I HAVE UNDERTAKEN. Fourth graf: I am an elected god who walks among you doing good for Democrats as well as Republicans and let’s see you people write about THAT.

No apology. No sorry. No nothing. No.

He did much better on Facebook. Maybe this apology was written later?

Should not have led with “I have received criticism” or ended with the big wad of horn-tooting, but the whole middle is fine. He apologizes to the reporter, the paper and his constituents, and he names the thing he did wrong. There’s no indication of a lesson learned or an offer of any kind of restitution, but…it’s not godawful?

I get a feeling we’re going to have Kirby Delauter to kick around more. And I hope the Frederick News-Post will be ON IT.

The Incredible Hulk, created by Jack Kirby. Also had problems with anger management.