Photo: Fanny Schertzer/Maedin/Julia W. Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported, 2.5 Generic, 2.0 Generic, & 1.0 Generic licenses.

Does Chenxin Liu think the tutu makes her jump higher?

The April issue of SELF, the magazine whose title makes me mutter “Really?” has a snarky section called “BS METER: Our SELF-y guide to what’s legit and what’s lame this month.”

Edgy! Attitudinal! What could go wrong?

How about this: with a colorful photo of two beaming women running in T-shirts, tutus, and caps, the text: “NEW RUNNING TULLE: A racing tutu epidemic has struck NYC’s Central Park, and it’s all because people think these froufrou skirts make you run faster. Now, if you told us they made people run away from you faster, maybe we would believe it.”

It’s a really efficient specimen of high-school type meanness. With “Tulle” (=tool, get it?) and “epidemic,” it says YOU ARE UNORIGINAL. With “lame” it says YOU LOOK STUPID. With “froufrou” it says YOU DO “FEMALE” WRONG. With “people think” it says YOU ACTUALLY ARE STUPID. And with “people run[ning] away from you” it says EVERYBODY HATES YOU.

They didn’t even need “Your mother dresses you funny.”

One of the women in the photo, Monika Allen, was stunned and angry and said so. That photo showed her and a friend running in the L.A. Marathon race. They were wearing tutus that Allen designs and sells through her company, Glamrunner. Profits go to Girls on the Run San Diego, a 12-week program that trains girls 8-13 to run a 5K race.

It’s also relevant that Allen was in the middle of chemotherapy for brain cancer at the time the photo was taken. The fact that the other woman in the photo, Allen’s friend Tara Baize, has the legend “DIE TUMOR DIE!!” on her running bib might supply a clue.

But here’s the thing: Allen gave permission for the photo to be used! Yes, but they didn’t tell her they were going to mock the sport-tutu thing, suggest that people find them so unattractive they flee, and that wearers stupidly believe tutus increase running speed.

Photo: Scanned by Mrlopez2681. GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2.

Does Olga Preobrajenska think the tutu gives her the power to stand on her toe indefinitely?

Outrage burst forth, all over social media. People don’t like to see cancer sufferers taunted. A lot of people said they don’t like to see anyone taunted. And a lot of people spoke up for tutus.

SELF acted quickly. Editor-in-chief Lucy Danziger first did a twitpology:

@glamrunner apologies from me and @selfmagazine. We applaud you for supporting girls & wish Monika speedy recovery: http://t.co/2iq4SAzWA9

Not great, but it’s hard to take responsibility in one tweet. And the link is to Glamrunner’s Facebook page, complete with outrage against SELF.

Danziger told news outlets she was “personally mortified.” She told NBC, “…in our attempt to be humorous, we were inadvertently insensitive. I have sincerely apologized both directly to Monika and her supporters online. At SELF we support women such as Monika; she is an inspiration and embodies the qualities we admire. We have donated to her charity and would like to cover her good work in a future issue. We wish her all the best in her road to good health.”

While I’m sure no one meant any harm to cancer victims, I’m not sure the stuff about how stupid running tutus are was actually “inadvertent.”

She also sent a personal apology to Allen. Allen didn’t respond immediately. She said that for her the core issue is the deceptive photo permission.

By March 28th, Danziger had personally interviewed Allen, in a story called “My Conversation with the Awesome Monika Allen,” and put it up on the SELF website. Good move. It begins “We messed up.” Also the item “never should have run.” (Nothing about how it happened.) Danziger talks with Allen about her running (the L.A. Marathon was her 19th), her charity work, and her brain cancer diagnosis.

Allen charged that the item seemed like bullying. Danziger agreed. She said that SELF will stop running the “BS Meter.” That’s an impressively solid response.

Photo: Reytan. Public domain.

Do they think the tutus make them look like large waterfowl?

Danziger writes, “We are all moving forward, together. Monika is a complete inspiration. She doesn’t let anyone (or anything) define her and is living life every day to its fullest. SELF is passionate about women supporting each other, learning from each other and respecting each other.”

Way to turn on a dime.

There’s no discussion of what was previously Allen’s core issue – the uncandid request for photo permission. (Maybe someone at SELF thought “She has a business, she’s in marketing, everybody loves all publicity! It’s none of her concern what our text will be.” Or maybe someone said “Find a photo of women runners in tutus,” and someone else said “Get permission to use this photo,” and no one did any thinking at all. It’s a super-cute photo.)

And there’s no discussion of my core issue – the statement that “people think” wearing tutus makes them run faster. I haven’t been able to find where anybody says that. I think somebody invented that idea just to up the snide level. Which is such vile reporting.

People aren’t finished being mad about this. Maybe Danziger’s lightning interview will help. But here’s my advice for SELF: Buy a ton of tutus, and go for a mass staff run in Central Park.

Great publicity! Especially since you will give permission for anyone to use the photos. Explore the mortification.

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